A Voice for the Houseless: 19 Years Without a Home
Raelee Childers, houseless and with a substance abuse problem, is writing a sometimes column for us. She says she hopes to open the hearts and minds of those that are so quick to judge a book by its cover. Comments will be monitored for civility towards the author as well as other commenters.
Disagreements are fine. Personal attacks are not.
First off, growing up homelessness was something I didn’t even know existed. My family never talked about what it was nor do I remember ever really seeing any homeless. It’s not like I was looking for them either though. It’s not like it was on my bucket list or anything. Neither was doing drugs. And no, I didn’t wake up one morning and say to myself , “Hey I think I wanna be a homeless drug addict when I grow up”. So when my Grandma had kicked me out I didn’t know what to think or even do. She kicked me out due to the fact when I turned 18 she couldn’t tell me what to do anymore. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. Finally I was able to go hang out with friends and have a social life and she couldn’t stop me. Now please understand that I was miserable in Jr. High and High School. I couldn’t do anything except be lectured for hours, sit in my room or watch TV. I wasn’t allowed to do anything like other my age. So as soon as I turned 18 I rebelled, then one morning my Grandma told me to pack my shit and get out. She even drove me down to the river bar in Fortuna, dropped me off and left.
There I was sitting alone and due to my very sheltered life growing up, living on the streets was something I wasn’t prepared for. With no tent and no tarps to protect me from the elements. I wasn’t even sure what I was going to eat or even how to get food. I was like a fish out of water. Honestly don’t know what I would have done if it wasn’t for the homeless people who had helped me. They were understanding and reassuring. They helped me out with a tent, tarp, and even blankets and showed me how to tie my tarp so I didn’t get wet. They even fed me even though they didn’t have very much food for themselves but yet they still always offer me something to eat. They treated me as if I were family and gave me respect nor did they judge me.
They were different from the people I’ve meet at my grandma’s office parties. I remember the people from those office parties would always act as though they were better than everyone else. Some even talk about others behind their backs. They at times were very rude and snobby with way to much perfume on.
I’ve learned a lot about life/society and how cruel and judgemental people can truly be. I know that there are homeless people that do things that make me even hang my head in shame. It’s frustrating and irritating when someone steals from people’s yards or break into someone’s vehicle because it makes life harder for everyone else.We all end up paying the price of one person’s actions and that’s not fair.
Now, I love the quote “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”. Why, because it highlights how people’s perceptions are shaped by their experiences and/or feelings. Usually when people encounter the homeless, they often project their fears and judgments onto them instead of recognizing their humanity. Which make them assume that the homeless are just lazy or made poor choices, while overlooking the real issues like mental health or how shitty the economy really is.
Many refuse to change their views but if they did people might start seeing the homeless as people facing real challenges rather than a problem to ignore. Yet, unfortunately society often encourages an “us versus them” mentality, treating homelessness as a nuisance rather than a complex issue. The media tends to simplify it, portraying homelessness as a result of individual failings rather than systemic failures.
So please take it in to consideration that your views on homelessness reflect your values, and if people focused more on empathy instead of judgment, you might understand the real issues at play. However, I feel that society will remain trapped in a cycle of ignorance and indifference, which is stupid and childish. But, until people start to change their perspectives, they will continue to make the same mistakes, leading to a bleak future. Ultimately, your distorted perceptions prevent others from seeing the truth about homelessness and the people behind it.
So now I ask, “Why are people so judgemental when we were supposed to be created equally in God’s eyes.”
I really wish more people would take a moment to see the person, not the stereotype. Most of us are just like you—we want respect, and a chance to live with without hatred or judgement.
Note: This is a corrected version of this post.
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Home free!
Yes, home free!
Along with a lack of judgement by one’s drug addicted peers, the homeless lifestyle also comes with no rules, responsibilities or accountability for one’s actions.
Every houseless person has a story to tell – especially concerning the circumstances that led them to their current situation – and almost without exception the reasons for them being homeless are beyond their control – and until they begin taking personal responsibility for their situation they’ll keep hitting the repeat button with each new day being as free of judgement and responsibility as the day before.
It would also help if people quit excusing their behavior and kicking down an endless supply of freebies that enable a continuation of homelessness instead of helping end it.
That’s not a reasonable choice- end the “freebies” (ie food, clothes, etc) to starve them out or keep giving just enough and enable a continuation of homelessness. The next step in that idea is what? Arresting the people offering food so it’s stopped?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I’d like to offer a different perspective.
The idea that homelessness is a “free” or “easy” lifestyle doesn’t reflect the reality. Houseless people face constant judgment, restrictions, and challenges to survive each day. Most didn’t choose this—they’ve been hit by circumstances like job loss, health crises, or unaffordable housing. Taking responsibility is important, but it’s hard to do without basic needs like food, shelter, or support systems in place.
Providing essentials isn’t enabling; it’s giving people the foundation they need to rebuild. Addressing homelessness requires compassion, understanding, and solutions like affordable housing and mental health support—not judgm
ent.
Thank you for your thoughtful response.
My reference to “home free” was obviously sarcastic – the homeless life is a hard life in just about every way and being “judged” by non-homeless people is the least of the hardships.
You’re fortunate that when you first became homeless people were looking out for you and showed you the ropes – many young people and other vulnerable people are not so lucky and are preyed upon by the predators who are always ready to take advantage.
I think you’re confirming my point that most people who are homeless see it as something that happened to them that was beyond their control – you mention job loss, health and affordable housing – but almost all people faced with those challenges find a way to navigate.
No doubt we’re going to disagree but most people who are homeless are there because of chronic drug use, alcoholism, untreated mental illness and all too frequently it’s all of the above – the underlying conditions – not a lack of housing – is why people are homeless.
I agree it’s very difficult to take responsibility without shelter or support systems which is why homeless people who don’t want to be homeless ought to take the help that’s offered – even if it’s not an ideal situation it could provide just enough stability and support to start addressing a person’s underlying problems – but the chronic homeless living in filthy bum camps and sidewalk tent cities want nothing to do with shelters – and aren’t too interested in supports if conditions come with it.
A few things I think are needed if we’re seriously interested in reducing homelessness:
1) The cities and County need to establish low barrier safe parking and safe camping areas where basic needs are met for health and security;
2) Mentally ill people who generate repeated calls for intervention need to confined, offered treatment and hopefully graduated to supportive housing;
3) Drug users who generate repeated calls for intervention also need to be confined, offered treatment and hopefully graduated to supportive housing.
I’m speaking in broad generalities but the goal is to reduce negative community impacts while also offering support for people to be housed and to live as independently as they can.
Before people start freaking out I hope they’ll notice what I didn’t say – I didn’t say we need to lock up all mentally ill people or use forced drug treatment – but we should confine those who constantly act out in criminal or psychotic ways – actual treatment would be optional but without improvement confinement would continue – I also didn’t say we need to lock up all drug users – but I think we should confine those who repeatedly need intervention for theft, assault, drug sales, etc. – but if someone’s under the influence but not committing other crimes I don’t think that should be a priority.
How about getting an job an contributing too society too make are community an better place for all not just the fortunate few that our born with an silver spoon. It is not all drug addicts an mentally challenged living on the streets.
Too=to, our=are, did you say mentally challenged?
Ever tried to get a job while being homeless? A large percentage of homeless would love to work. No one wants to hire someone without a fixed, address, without clean clothes, without access to showers, without a dependable phone. And an arrest record makes it pretty much impossible.And in the local economy, where are the jobs for people to even apply for?
That’s largely bullspit. If one is motivated, one can find resources. I know of two different people who signed up at Planet Fitness for a $10 membership special and they go there to shower. They live in their cars and maintain a PO Box. One works, the other is currently looking and is waiting to hear back from Target for a seasonal job. The only thing an employer really wants is a telephone number where they can reach you, a house address can be a friend or relative’s. Or, as I did once as a homeless teen, make one up. And there ARE jobs that will hire a person with an arrest record; that largely depends on the crime and how long ago. One certainly wouldn’t hire a person with a record involving robbery to work a cash register or a child molester to work in a day care center. So yes, that can be an impediment but it’s not impossible to overcome. Everything you mentioned is just an EXCUSE, not a reason to take some personal responsibility.
To the homeless author: there are resources in Eureka to get you on the right path. You 100% have the power to change your life tomorrow if you really want to. Ask Betty Chin, the job market, or social services on Koster Street. Work hard, you can do it!
I left home (on probation) in my beat up Chevy Corsica with the clothes on my back and what little money I had. My friend and I struck out to find a new life on the West Coast. We stayed in the campground just north of Crescent city on the Smith for a while trying to find jobs and a house there, then eventually made our way down to Arcata and camped out at Clam Beach campground. I took $2 to the library and printed out 20 resumes. (There are physical resources there and the Internet if you need to learn how to write up a résumé). Went to the thrift store and spent less than $10 on a decent pair of clothes, which I kept nice and put on only for dropping off resumes or job interviews. Less than two weeks I had a job at Mazzotti‘s washing dishes. Winco called me back about a week later and offered me a position there stocking shelves, which I declined since I just started at Mazzotti’s. I refrained from blowing my paychecks on alcohol, drugs, or the casino, and before you know it, we had a rental house in Eureka.
In all my time living here, I’ve never had a single person walk up to me on the street and ask me for $2 to print out some resumes, or 10 bucks for a change of clothes so they can look nice for a job interview. Not fucking once. If a young kid came up and asked me that in earnest, I would probably drive him around to the library, the thrift store and to drop off some resumes myself.
The admonition “Disagreements are fine. Personal attacks are not.” makes any comment on the irrational content next to impossible. The fact that a group of people, who almost never are holding down jobs or have the means to support themselves, have tents and food share means they got those things from people who do work or at least work to provide them to others. Either donated by people never acknowledged by the writer or stolen. It’s not “some”or a “few”. It’s nearly all. Nearly all the time. So it is very likely that it is not at all about how “cruel and judgmental society” can be but how generous it is some of the time.
What is a question is what is achieved by these columns articles and the impossible admonition that heads them.
She’s just looking for you to look into her backstory and be compassionate not dis her for the fact that maybe she doesnt know a way to not be homeless. Being abandonded sounds pretty tramatizing. If you want to learn more about people’s backstory on homelessness/ other matters softwhiteunderbelly is a good YouTube channel. Stories like this are purely a backstory that dony deserve to be dissed by your disassociation for the fact that some people don’t like living in this selfish society. Emphasizing the fact that people she just met gave her food. Ya know people sharing is caring.
“Most of us are just like you—we want safety, respect, and a chance to live with dignity.”
The things you “want” are earned and not bestowed.
I got thrown out at 17. I went to a friend’s house, then another friend helped me find a JOB and a room in a house share, not drugs. I have a hard time with compassion anymore as our streets are full of folks who expect the rest of us to support them and their addictions, make messes wherever they sit, and generally annoy people with asking for money. Or block our streets with garbage on a “trailer” made of stolen wheelchairs and bikes. Rejecting all offers of sincere help, or even sleeping bags…left to rot in the street…Seriously tired of it. I’m sorry life has been hard, but the central player in that life is….her. All of us have had hard times, we are not drug addicts.
Oh so every homeless person is so because they are lazy drug addicts huh ? Well it sure is nice to know that lazy is determining factor as most people are addicted to some sort of drug including most of the commenters on this blog , they just get them differently and partying a few times a year is not addiction either . I would like to know where all these supposed jobs are around here that would hire a homeless person paying them the roughly 1 k a week it pretty much requires a person to make , you know with the rents pge wsg food car insurance and i hope they are understanding to the fact that many of the homeless do have some sort of mental health issues treated or not that will require time off work to take care of . Not to mention trouble learning and being able to be treated with respect by coworkers . Most cases becoming homeless results in addiction not addiction results in homelessness. Home many weed smokers are commenters here ? Just 20 years ago most of America would have called you drug addicts . Then there is this lack of accountability or responsibility i hear mentioned , homeless people end up with more legal responsibilities such as court dates and probation because they have no where to go what little they have gets destroyed by others, either through carelessness or some sick sort of aggression toward others for being homeless people are cruel .
sometimes people are homeless because they have ethics and will not sell their soul to some lender they wish to live with and on what they make those homeless people are not begging or hanging around missions typically
some of the commenters on here almost seem bitter that they are saddled with debt selling themselves into slavery so that they can keep with what appearances they have been told they need to be like to be a good person .
None of that is even vaguely rational. “some of the commenters on here almost seem bitter that they are saddled with debt selling themselves into slavery so that they can keep with what appearances they have been told they need to be like to be a good person ?” Really? That actually sounds like the bitterness of a failure to cope in society like a kid in school announcing that they could have had great grades and popularity if they wanted but they chose to not be a teachers pet. Yeah, sure.
In the real world, almost no one has a life without struggle. Many share the same struggle. Oh, and having a place to live or feeding a family to live is not “appearances they have been told they need to be like to be a good person.” It’s pretty self evident to most people.
Oh you so missed the point . Your laws rules social standards so to speak are a fraud . Life is free one can work with shackles of debt for that standard of life and wait for it , maybe if they are lucky a gold watch after 40 or so years , maybe if they can kiss enough ass or bite their tongue long enough maybe even make enough to fire up the good ole credit card and take a trip with the kids 3 or 4 times . This free country has made life illegal . Some people that are homeless have earned and given away more than most people will see in their life time. Others just dont see the point of attempting to fit in anymore .large percentage of homeless people are military veterans , are you suggesting they have not done their part ? Just because you think your rules can or even will control all people based upon your values even the values of the larger percentage of the population doesnt make it so . Keep your ticky tacky cookie cutter ideals for you and yours, but those whom wish to live their life for another purpose leave them alone . Control is fake the only thing anyone truly can control their person . Keep passing laws and pat your backs while you sit back passing judgement upon others , one day you too might get lucky enough to understand freedom
Your idea of freedom seems to be that no one should have to work for a living or conform to any rules or regulations – sorry, but it doesn’t work that way unless you wanna live in a filthy homeless camp.
Blah, blah, blah-blah, and blah. You’re one of those “I’m antiestablishment and so proud of that… I live on the streets, panhandle, steal a little here and there, and I’m so much more enlightened and free than you are with your job, mortgage, car payment, and Visa card. Watch me give you side eye when you drop that dollar in my cup…”
You know what? I love working. I’ve worked since I left home at the age of 15, living on the streets off and on myself at times. Shit was different then… not for one minute would society put up with the homeless we have today. All I could think of when I was younger was finishing my education, securing a decent job so I could develop a well-paying career, and never, NEVER have to sit through endless sermons at a mission kitchen for lukewarm watered down soup and a dried out bologna sandwich. I am damned proud of where I am now as I’m looking towards retirement… a retirement I’ve worked hard for.
What the hell do YOU have to take pride in? Your illusion of freedom?
Go for it, darlin’.
Where do you get off thinking it takes a $1000 a week to live? Seriously??? I have a daughter who supports herself and her child on half that. She receives no child support from the deadbeat dad and she doesn’t get rental assistance or EBT either. What she does do is share the rent with a roommate and family helps with childcare. This bullspit people like you spout is pure Grade A nonsense… if you want $4k a month to live on, get an education like I did and then work your ass off like I have. No one is *entitled* to a middle class lifestyle unless one is willing to work hard. As for mental health… that’s a lot of garbage excuse-making too. Yes, securing mental health services can be difficult but the help is there. You just have to show up on clinic days and TAKE YOUR MEDICATION. That’s the REAL problem with the mentally ill… medication noncompliance. And yes, I know that for a fact… I have years of experience working in mental healthcare. Mental illness is a manageable problem, just like diabetes or asthma. One just has to take their meds, work with a clinician to develop a workable plan of care, and stay away from street drugs. Again… excuses are common and so are the solutions.
It’s all about how bad you want it. You don’t need to be making four grand a month to survive. I’ve seen six or eight guys living in a two bedroom house so that they can all save money and send it back to their families in Mexico. Sure it might not be a comfortable way to spend six or nine months, but those guys were working their asses off with one or two jobs to make a better life for their families. And the food bank hooks it up here too. You can walk in there once a month if you’re above the income threshold, and if youre below it, you can go in there several times a month. Daily lunch down on third Street. There’s that booth that gives out free phones all the time. Clothes are cheap as fuck at the thrift store. 50 bucks a week goes a long way at Winco too if you buy the right things.
It’s a very liberating thing to say “I made bad decisions in the past and should have done things differently”. At the very least accept partial responsibility for where your life is at.
I’ve made so many dumb decisions to get where I’m at. But I wake everyday and move forward.
it would be nice if Raelee accepted a little bit of responsibility and talked about having some type of plan to get off the streets.
I’ve hired lots of people over the years who were homeless, living in their vehicle or just barely scraping by. Some were great! They did just need a hand up. I cashed people out daily and some took that first day’s pay and left us short-handed w/o notice the very next day so they could go party. Yes- people in that situation are different from each other. Some want to work and help out. Some don’t. I have no use and little sympathy for the latter. I always appreciated the ones that wanted to work with us and join our team/family/crew. Childhood traumas make life more difficult for sure… but they aren’t an excuse for lazy-ass adult behavior. Please tell your friends that!
You’re fortunate the worst experience you had was people baling out after one day of work – reading your comments reminded me of the seven trimmers who murdered Jeffery Settler, the Laytonville weed farmer – it was a very tangled but cautionary tale about bringing random layabouts into your scene.
Yes- I am grateful that I have been lucky enough to not spend much time with truly evil people. I used to think it was because I was smart or had that “good energy” vibe but then I grew up and realized I was just lucky! Lots of ill-intentioned people came through here in the weed scene…
????
What does that mean? I don’t speak emoji …
It’s a violin, they don’t have a tiny one emoji unfortunately
that’s a Violin playing for the downtrotten and unfortunate.
Instead of playing video games as a youth, you could have been trying to better yourself while you had the chance. Now you’ve become a ward of the street. Might help if you quit drugs and get a meaningful job. What ever you do, don’t father any children who’ll follow in your barefoot tracks.
wOW I left my home before I was 18 . Got a job worked for 43 years and retired. Why didn’t you figure this out. You know today that you will get hungry tomorrow!!! I don’t understand useless people.
I started working full time every summer with my dad at age 9. He was a general contractor and I was excited to go spend time with dad and helped by getting nails, holding boards, pounding nails, and yes, even handed him shingles while he put the roofing on. By the summer after 7th grade I was doing the roofs all by myself, later becoming a professional roofer, had my own company out of state for a bit.
Yes, I can hear the lefties, especially CWS social workers going insane that a child was not only taken to the job site, much less being allowed to help. Here’s the thing. My parents put me in private school, which is expensive. My father allowed me to work, paid me, and then, I in turn paid the tuition 100% from my summer work, plus had money in the bank from 5th grade on. Oh yes, I also learned discipline, work ethics and amazing job skills which have saved me tens of thousands of dollars by doing my own home repairs. Are you lefties still pissed I was a young child when I chose, never was I forced to go to work with dad? My parents’ choices and my own are why I am relatively financially stable.
The thing that bothers me about this article is that children are no longer allowed to learn to work at a young age, generally haven’t earned a dime by high school graduation, and for most, fixing a meal means a call to door dash or going through the drive through. It’s no wonder so many in the homeless community are there in the first place. However, justifying it by choice to remain there is indeed disturbing, since there is so much more they could experience if they would just try.
Good story and you were lucky to have your father. My Dad was a white collar guy so I never saw him at work. Just saw the things that his work paid for and as a kid it’s hard to get the connection. Still he was old-school and made us all work! Had a paper route at an early age to buy baseball cards and had to take care of the yard. Do kids even get to have paper routes anymore? Do they have yards to mow and pull weeds? The connection to work for money is seriously lost in most of our younger generation and that is a disgrace to our nation.
I starded working as soon as I was old enough to get a work permit and changed to independent study to finnish high school. I also spent a couple years living in a tent and couch surfing in my rebellious years. 25 years later I was working for my self. I get the appeal of not owning a house, and not participating in the rat race, it’s a huge responsibility. But that does not excused poor behavior and a entitlement attitude. Like was already said, what you want has to be earned. No body ows you anything… Sorry this wasn’t meant as a direct reply wasn’t paying attention when I posted, lol.
I’m a “lefty” and I think what your dad did was awesome. My dad worked as a firefighter so going to work with him was out of the question. Once my parents divorced, I did go to work with my mother in the summer months and sometimes on Saturdays during the school year. It was farm work and I worked my butt off… thinning cotton, picking grapes, sorting potatoes on a field digger. When I left home at 15, I continued to do farmwork; no one cared I was underaged and had no ID. I picked tomatoes, packed oranges, picked cherries, apples, and pears. Then I moved to Reno and got a job as a motel maid… the lady and her touchy-feely husband owned the flea bag place and would let me shower in the last room I cleaned for the day and sleep in the laundry room on nights when it was below freezing, too cold to sleep in my hidden camp on the Truckee River. I saved every penny I earned from those folks and within 4 months, was able to secure my SSN and birth cert to get ID. After that, I was legit and able to get a real job.
So, no. I don’t understand the homeless these days. Why they would live like they do is just… I can’t relate.
If you are collecting Calfresh, Medi-Cal, SSI or other benefits because you choose substance abuse over employment and self sufficiency regardless of housing status there’s no difference between that and stealing from cars, porches or anything else. Refusing to support yourself in some way other than handouts, if you ate able bodied is actually fraud and theft from those with actual disabilities as well as the honest, hard working tax payers. No amount of writing articles about the homeless community accepting you and not judging you makes a difference. If the people you were around before becoming homeless were judgemental, you have a choice to be around others who aren’t. Unfortunately, you chose to be around those who are also living off the hard work of working Americans. It is, no matter how you look at it, a life of stealing from others.
Even volunteer work can help. It’s your pride you get after being productive and helping out that give you connection and heals your soul….And when people see you working they notice you and the upward spiral begins…
Having you here helps others in so many ways Raelee! I hope you are managing your “substance abuse problem”.
My 18th birthday started out the same way:
“Wake up! Happy birthday. GTFO!”
It was no crisis, though, because by the time I turned 18 I had been working at the local McDonald’s for two years and was promoted to Assistant Manager the same day.
I moved in with a couple pals in a small house where we had big parties and intermittent utilities. Before long I had a better job and a place of my own.
And YOU can walk into the same G.D. McDonald’s today – it’s still there – and they’ll hire you at $20/hr.
My heart goes out to you dear! You seem like a rational and reasonable person that anyone would like to hire. I was in foster homes at the age of 15 and molested and abused there. But I picked myself up and put myself through college and got a master’s degree in my chosen field. If I can do it you can do it. The world needs to see your wisdom.
Interesting, not one mention of looking for a job, that’s the first thing I’d do.
I remember your story last time you sent it in. Once again, your grandma is cast as the wicked witch who tossed you out for no reason. And once again, your quite mum about what sorts of “freedoms” you were enjoying leading up to getting the boot.
No one should be treated with disrespect just because of their station in life. And by the same token, no one should treat all of us with the disrespect that the most visible and destructive members of the homeless community treat all of us with daily.
Society can be cruel, but that cruelty is not the reason you have been homeless for 19 years. Many many many people have overcome worse circumstances than you have shared with us. You’ve been homeless for 2 decades because of choices you’ve made. If it’s a life you enjoy amongst a community that you cherish then more power to you. In that case, celebrate your community rather than griping about the way you’re perceived by the wider public off of whom you choose to live.
The grandmother is at fault.
She should be publicly shamed.
Childers. Fortuna.
Someone ought to put her on the river bar and see how she survives.
Shame on her.
18 year olds are not prepared to deal with the world.
They need care and support and guidance.
I’ve got three at home now.
They need support and the benefit of the structure I’ve taken years to acquire.
I wonder if the 18-year-old adult ever thought of getting a job to help his Grandma out? Instead of exploring his freedom. I don’t think it’s fair to assume that somebody who’s already spent half their life raising the previous generation should spend the rest of it raising a grand kid who’s not gonna respect it and help out. There’s probably more to this story.
I didn’t blame anyone for the loss of my legs— some Chinaman took them from me in Korea