Local Government Agencies Come Out With a Series of New Projects on the First of April

As another month begins, local agencies are busy posting about new projects underway. In order to help you learn about these, we’ve gathered several of them here in one post:

First, Fortuna Police say they have a new weapon to combat texting:

April fool texting weaponTEXTING DRIVERS BEWARE!!!

The Fortuna Police Department is employing a new technology to combat texting and driving.

The first of its kind in this area, the “Cell Phone Terminator” will be used to short circuit, or render completely useless, any cell phone being used by drivers on The road. The device, which looks like a traditional radar gun, and is used in basically the same “point and shoot” manner, uses Gamma Ray technology to fry the electronic motherboard of an offender’s phone from up to 300 yards away, permanently rendering the phone useless. Seized drug money will be used to purchase the technology and to train officers.

“This is the cutting edge of Law Enforcement and we can’t wait to get our officers trained up.” Chief Dobberstein said. “We are the first agency to take the training. The supplier can’t get us on their training schedule until May because April’s full”

Caltrans District 1 says it has plans to deal with the long straight stretch near Clam Beach:

April Fools Skyway bridgeFor those of you who are tired of driving the long, flat stretch along Clam Beach, we have news for you! In 2182, the new Ocean Skyway Bridge will be complete. This project will reduce northbound drive time to Trinidad by 10 minutes (southbound traffic will gain an extra 20 minutes due to a permanent one-way traffic signal) and offer great views of sea life and crab boats. A public meeting to decide the color of the bridge will be held two years before final completion. For more information about this bridge project, please see http://www.dot.ca.gov/dist1/d1projects/ocean_skyway_bridge/

Shasta Trinity National Forest is taking more steps to protect Sasquatch:

Sasquatch bighfoot posterThere are many reasons the U.S. Forest Service conserves open space. It allows us to deliver clean water, provide space for recreation activities and maintain wildlife habitat for a variety of creatures – most notably the North American Sasquatch.
While most people believe this Ape Man to be a thing of folklore and urban legend, researcher Thaddeus Guttenberg, with the U.S. Forest Service Mythical Wildlife Division, recently confirmed that Bigfoot is as real as he is.

“We’ve been keeping its existence under wraps for years to protect its privacy,” said Guttenberg. “But because the country is losing more and more open space each day, we wanted to make it known that the habitat to one of America’s greatest legends may be at risk.”

Read entire blog here: http://1.usa.gov/1MzlFd2

If you have any other new programs being brought to light this April First, please share in the comments below.

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37 Please improve the conversation by disagreeing thoughtfully and backing your claims with facts
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Laughing
Guest
Laughing
7 years ago

The bridge should be red because it will match the golden gate bridge.

elvis costanza
Guest
elvis costanza
7 years ago

I live in Santa Cruz now and the traffic is unbelievable with everyone texting and driving all over the damn road. I have GOT to get my hands on one of these devices!

Erik
Guest
Erik
7 years ago
Reply to  elvis costanza

My nephew drives 17 every day, the number of accidents and rollovers daily is astounding. Some days, especially in incliment weather but not always, there are 2 chp cars each east and west pacing traffic and one chp per direction writing tickets as people are too entitled/ignorant/oblivious to drive sanely. That’s a total of 6 chp cars working that stretch of road sometimes. It’s fun sharing the road daily with raging, over paid, smug tesla and prius drivers and people who think that because they paid $90,000 for an suv speed limits and road conditions no longer apply.

Hmmmm
Guest
Hmmmm
7 years ago
Reply to  elvis costanza

Okay so what happens if an officer uses this “cell phone terminator” on a vehicle and destroys the passengers phone because they were on their phone. Seems to me like this is just a lawsuit waiting to happen…

shak
Guest
shak
7 years ago

Hip Hip Hooray for all my Sasquatch friends!

The Entropic Empath
Guest
The Entropic Empath
7 years ago

Fortuna, the unfriendly city… Frying Cell Phones is right at your level!

Best point that thing somewhere else.

I predict an expensive legal battle for Fortuna, related to the application of this technology…

Taurus Ballzhoff
Guest
Taurus Ballzhoff
7 years ago
Reply to  Kym Kemp

Most amusing, seemed reasonable at the time…

I like stars
Guest
I like stars
7 years ago
Reply to  Kym Kemp

It’s not really that big a stretch. They use Stingrays that masquerade as cell towers so “the man” can spy on anyone in range.

LostCoastEMP
Guest
LostCoastEMP
7 years ago
Reply to  Kym Kemp

Dam kym! You had me going too! Nice one. That deserves a good ol karate chop too me. Lmao!

D
Guest
D
7 years ago

Lol… so if I am texting in the passenger seat will my phone get messed up??? Try harder next year 😉

DELLIB
Guest
DELLIB
7 years ago

April Fools or not, even the thought of government overreach is no joke. A technology already used on chinese citizens! Plus you think government having the power to fry your private property, just wait until new 5G rolls out!

Legallettuce
Guest
Legallettuce
7 years ago
Reply to  DELLIB

5G in Humboldt, lol. Not in our lifetime.

shak
Guest
shak
7 years ago
Reply to  DELLIB

You might want to read this EO very carefully. There are many clues within it, but I’ll post just one for immediate consideration.
“(vii) defend the Nation from adversarial EMPs originating outside of the United States through defense and deterrence, consistent with the mission and national security policy of the Department of Defense.”
https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/executive-order-coordinating-national-resilience-electromagnetic-pulses/

Jake
Guest
Jake
7 years ago

It’s April fools day! Haha!

Be responsible
Guest
Be responsible
7 years ago

Fish on! Start reeling them in.
Please remember today is April 1st. You do know what that means,right?

Legallettuce
Guest
Legallettuce
7 years ago
Reply to  Be responsible

Yea a government holiday for Cesar Chavez day if 3/31 lands on a weekend. Saaaaweeeet!!

Mr Right
Guest
Mr Right
7 years ago
Reply to  Legallettuce

Sweet for lifetime appointed state and county bureau-rats.

Chavez was a communist agitator. May that POS rot in a lettuce field.

Erik
Guest
Erik
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr Right

Early on he was actually pretty down on illegal immigration and open borders, for obvious reasons. That changed later and he advocated for some degree of amnesty. He was perpetually in fear of both communists and Republicans infiltrating and sabotaging the united farm workers, and he also didn’t want to align with the larger national unions because he was afraid farmworkers would not be properly represented by them, and their inherent corruption by that point in history.

Mike
Guest
Mike
7 years ago

In more good news I heard that caltrans and the county workers are going to get together and fix our roads ASAP!! They believe they should have almost all of them fixed by the end of the month.

Wabbajack
Guest
Wabbajack
7 years ago

The Humboldt County Board of Supervisors has decided that, since no one agrees with anything they do (what do they do, anyway?), all decisions regarding Humboldt County government will be decided by the comments section of Redheaded Blackbelt. In a joint statement, Estelle Fennel and Rex Bohn said that it was either that or the Lost Coast Outpost comments section, which would cause the entire county to devolve into debauchery and mass confusion.

Guest
Guest
Guest
7 years ago

It was very enjoyable to read about such projects as something to look forward to and, like Thaddeus Guttenberg, believe every word of them.

TWD
Guest
TWD
7 years ago

So I’m in the back seat texting and my cell phone gets fried?? This will end up in court.

Helllbilly
Guest
Helllbilly
7 years ago

1312! as always our tax dollars at work

TQM
Guest
TQM
7 years ago

lol. Thanks for the good chuckle.

chris roch
Guest
chris roch
7 years ago

Maybe the Fortuna PD, Caltrans, and The US Forest Service could spend more time doing their damn jobs and less time making stupid jokes at taxpayer expense. Leave the humor to Chris Rock.

Elletse Llacer
Guest
Elletse Llacer
7 years ago

Where is the real news about our 2nd district supervisor resigning today?

Central HumCo
Guest
7 years ago
Reply to  Elletse Llacer

Part of today’s Smart Extortion via ye ol “Consent Calendar”:

Public Works
Lease with David G. Katz and Anne Braak-Katz Trust at 3156 Redwood Drive in Redway to
provide offices for Planning and Building Department and 2nd District Supervisor, Estelle Fennell.

Katy Gray
Guest
Katy Gray
7 years ago

Good one Kym ?♥️

Buster
Guest
Buster
7 years ago

Well this is all fine and good but I am off to the Arcata Plaza to see an incognito Neil Young play a tribute show for former President McKinley…Tah, Tah

SmallFry
Guest
SmallFry
7 years ago

Lol..That is so funny Kym.. Look, it made my sprout greens..

small fry
Guest
small fry
7 years ago
Reply to  SmallFry

Made my keyboard sprout greens lol.. edit..

Dude
Guest
Dude
7 years ago

Oh man. I was fuming. Good one. A bridge over eureka would be nice though. ????

Curious
Guest
Curious
7 years ago

Curious to know if you are a passenger legally using your phone, who will be responsible if you phone is “fried”