James Friel: Skilled Craftsman, Adventurer, and Beloved Community Member

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James Friel
March 16, 1955 – February 1, 2025

James (Jimmy) Bernard Friel died at home in the arms of his beloved wife, best friend and life partner Lela McKee Friel, on February 1, 2025. His death came 16 months after being diagnosed with anaplastic thyroid cancer.

Jimmy was born and raised in Philadelphia, PA. He studied at Pennsylvania State College and Tyler School of Art before apprenticing as a plumber with his father, Charles Friel. Jimmy moved to San Francisco in 1981 to join his brothers Tom and Brian in the trade. Lela was the first person Jimmy met when he arrived in San Francisco. After knowing each other as friends for

several years, they started dating in 1988 and married in 1990. Jimmy and Lela renovated a home together in San Francisco, then moved to Lela’s home town of Whitethorn in Humboldt County. There they designed and built a gorgeous house, studio and barn, cultivated a thriving garden, raised chickens and goats, and became beloved members of the community. Jimmy got sober in his early 30s, remained gratefully so for the rest of his life, and was instrumental in helping others who sought sobriety.

Jimmy had what we lovingly dubbed “serial obsessions”: he was a potter, hiker, sailor, marathon cyclist, marathon runner, yoga practitioner and world traveler. His passion for travel started at age 16 with hikes on the Appalachian Trail, hitchhiking and cycling throughout eastern Canada and driving cross county from Philadelphia to San Francisco. As a teenager he considered these trips his true education. He went on to travel worldwide, including domestic and international cycling trips that he meticulously organized for friends and family. After retiring from his plumbing practice, he jumped in to assist his father-in-law, Bob McKee, manage the Whitethorn Construction campus, including a major new building and water system. He retired a second time in 2023 and celebrated by walking 170 miles from Porto, Portugal to Compostela de Santiago, Spain with his sister Margaret and brother Brian. A plumber never truly retires; with Lela’s assistance, Jimmy fixed a frozen waterline in her greenhouse a few days before he died.

Jimmy was a problem solver and mediator. He had a gift for being forthright and diplomatic, compassionate, fair, and clear-eyed. Jimmy brought all of these qualities to the task of understanding and dealing with his diagnosis, treatments, and the eventual knowledge that he was facing death. His insistence on embracing life while accepting his mortality was a tremendous gift to his family and loved ones, tempering the devastation of his death with the knowledge that he lived exactly as he wanted to live, with full awareness and agency over his choices and decisions. Jimmy opted to spend the time he had left savoring the relationships he had built over a lifetime, in his home with Lela, embedded in nature, and in contemplative inquiry into his own heart, mind, and spirit. The five months between Jimmy’s last surgery and his death were filled with love pouring in from dozens of people he had known throughout his life. Near the end of his life, he said that he had never expected to pack so much living into dying. Like Jimmy, we carry both the piercing sadness of loss and tremendous gratitude for the beautiful life he lived.

Jimmy was the dearly loved husband of Lela McKee Friel; cherished son of the late Charles Patrick and Dorothy Leona (O’Beirne) Friel; dearest friend to ten siblings and their spouses: Kathy Stannard-Friel (Don), the late Denise Hanson (Robert), Charles Jr., Michael (Margie Albers-Friel), Tom (Kitty Quinn- Friel), Brian (Rachel), Mary Anne, Margaret (Steven Allen), Theresa Wood (Robert) and Christine (Peter Eisenberg); beloved sibling-in-law to: Rebecca McKee (RonMacaruso, deceased), Sita Formosa (David), Tasha McCorkle (Jim Groeling), Rob McKee (Maryellen), and the late Sean McCorkle; treasured son-in-law of the late Valerie and Robert McKee; adored uncle to many nieces, nephews, grandnieces, grandnephews; and beloved cousin. He will be deeply missed by friends from his Whitethorn, San Francisco and Philadelphia communities.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Heart of the Redwoods Hospice, which provided incredible care and guidance to Jimmy and Lela in the late stages of his illness. A life celebration is being planned in Whitethorn, CA to take place on June 28, 2025. Details to follow.