HappyDay: ‘I’m Still Here, Still Doing What I Love’

Casey O’Neill is a cannabis and food farmer in Mendocino County who has been writing newsletters about his efforts to provide sustainable produce and marijuana. We feature his column once a week.

     The setting sun bathes the garden in golden light as I plant the first full-season cannabis plants, nine Orange Durbans find their homes. The soil is soft and luscious, dark chocolate cake into which we’ve poured our lifeblood energy. Like the velveteen rabbit, the farm is become real, it gets under my skin, it breathes in my soul.

      The most stunning thing about this late spring is the growth in the perennials. Everything is the brightest, most vibrant green, sucking in the loving rays of the sun and producing abundance. Peonies and roses are edging into full flower and I remind myself to stop and smell the rose blooms each time I pass, for what’s the point of growing them if not to revel in their sensory glory.

     As I plant the cannabis I think about the journey to this point, the many years of repeating this same treasured task, fingers in the warm soil as day draws down to dusk. Though so much has changed over the years, some things remain the same, holding the comfort of routine in concert with renewal and growth. I think about the genetics, seeds that we save here on farm from male pollen that we paint on forming flowers with a delicate brush.

      So much has changed over the last decade, a whirlwind of advocacy, policy development, regulatory gauntlets, marketplace turmoil, incremental victories, crushing defeats. I breathe in the peace of the evening and think to myself “I’m still here, still doing what I love.” I feel gratitude for the opportunity, and sadness for the many small farms who have had to hang it up in the face of so many challenges.

      As I plant the female plants I painstakingly sexed to make sure no males go into the garden, I think about the act of saving seed in a marketplace dominated by clonal production. The place for seed plants is dwindling, yet I hold on with a grim joy, a stubborn refusal to let go the old ways. Though more than half of the crop in my garden will be clones, the seed plants still bring me the greatest connection to the plant and the process.

      Life is cyclical energy, ebbing and flowing in a kaleidoscope of interaction that reflects and refracts along the path. I raise food to eat and to share, and I raise herb for home use and for the enjoyment of others. Cannabis changes my consciousness, and as my friend once said, it makes me want to be a better person. As I shovel the soil, place the root ball into its hole and pull the earth back in around it, I think about where the seeds came from, where the finished flower will go.

      I offer up the hope that these plants will go out into the world to help folks in their journeys, brightening days and bringing peace and happiness. Perhaps they will relieve sorrows or bring joy, perhaps they will offer calm and connection. Wherever they may go, I am conscious of the energy I put into them because I have high hopes for what it can accomplish.

       In a spring that has felt hectic and compressed by a late start after a brutal winter, this moment of peace reconnects me with my purpose and goals in life. It is a culmination to an evening of pondering the workload, the long days, the never ending task list. As I carried the plants down the slope to their terraced home, I asked myself “do I really want to be doing this at dusk?”

      As I gathered myself for the final push of the day, I ruminated on the life I lead, thinking about the many different aspects that come together to make our farm organism. Animals rotate across the pastures while plants cycle from seed to propagation to planting to harvest. Another year is well underway, and the milestone of the first outdoor plantings is always brought home to me as the harbinger of summer.

     I love this time of year, the lush greenery that makes everyone feel like smiling, the beauty that can stop you in your tracks with the breath caught in your throat when the light hits just right. The ache of growth, of labor unto a calling, of the infinite magic of life. As always, much love and great success to you on your journey!

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Humboldt
Member
Humboldt
9 months ago

I love the intention he puts into his plants.

” I offer up the hope that these plants will go out into the world to help folks in their journeys, brightening days and bringing peace and happiness. Perhaps they will relieve sorrows or bring joy, perhaps they will offer calm and connection. Wherever they may go, I am conscious of the energy I put into them because I have high hopes for what it can accomplish. ”

There’s a man here, in Humboldt, who is the same.

He is a master gardener.

He plants only from seed, not for his own benefit – he doesn’t even use the product, himself – but for those like me, with dire illness, who are not strong enough to grow for themselves.

Not for money. For kindness. And the love of the plants and the inner satisfaction he receives from the zen of raising them.

The world (seemingly) is crashing down around us, with inflation, sky rocketing utility bills, tyrants overrunning countries.

It’s assuring to know that some things stay the same.

Thank you for your dedicated.

Humboldt
Member
Humboldt
9 months ago
Reply to  Humboldt

…edit…Thank you for your dedication.

Kicking Bull
Guest
Kicking Bull
9 months ago

🙏

Trashman
Guest
Trashman
9 months ago

Should be good just being there…..if you have to grow drugs you didn’t have a retirement plan….I enjoy just making burr piles and locating rat nests,gotta flag them or you forget. If you do it right the land changes for the better. If it burns more than intended it won’t burn in September, ain’t nothing perfect when it comes to fires.

Thatguyinarcata
Guest
Thatguyinarcata
9 months ago
Reply to  Trashman

If you’ve never taken the time to form a meaningful connection with one of our many plant medicine allies you are really selling yourself short. It doesn’t have to be cannabis (although it’s a popular one that has been by our side since the dawn of history), just find a plant that works well with you and leads you toward peace and comfort when you consume it.

It’s a special relationship. Among the most fulfilling I’ve ever found.

Trashman
Guest
Trashman
9 months ago

Timber, watching it grow and die
Fir and pine nurtured over time. Worthless now but trying to stay positive. Might try poppies but beerand Jim beam are common and usefull to motivate aggressive burns and cutting and piles . A D6 and excavator are a possibility before I kick off. Yeehaw. Burn on your terms.
.

Thatguyinarcata
Guest
Thatguyinarcata
9 months ago
Reply to  Trashman

I’m always amused by people who denigrate “drugs” and elevate alcohol. Maybe you should try growing and processing your own whiskey?

Al L Ivesmatr
Guest
Al L Ivesmatr
9 months ago

The Simple life is Simply awesome but not easy. Thank you buddy.

David
Guest
David
9 months ago

Thanks for another great Column, Casey! Planting from seed puts quality above all else, and resists the plants modern manipulation by humans into a n end product of ever- fewer, ever dumber people on ever- more remote sites! AKA “Autofem” and such!

Lost Croat OutburstD
Member
Lost Croat Outburst
9 months ago

Keep it up and good luck! Great report! I see in the gun magazines (periodicals) that Ruger has saved the Marlin 336 lever action in Win. 30-30. This is a great short-range, easy kicking rifle for hogs and deer. Easier to clean and maintain than the Winchester M94. Trust me. Get a fixed-power, low magnification scope. This a 200 yard max. rifle, you don’t need gimmicks, extra-weight of a zoom or other tweaks. Or get a good lightly used original. I know, I know, broken record. Don’t quit. Resist evil.

Drunk on the wca lawn
Guest
Drunk on the wca lawn
9 months ago

Casey is the only dope grower I know that can put a positive spin on the dope grower life . Every other dope grower I met was pissed off that prohibition ended . Some quit, some moved away, some are just living on what they buried, a few reluctantly found taxpaying jobs.

Bowd It Bowd It
Guest
Bowd It Bowd It
9 months ago

Dude that sucks! You are who you roll with, for sure. Some of us are really about this shit.

Megan McFarland, PG&E
Guest
Megan McFarland, PG&E
9 months ago

Beautifully written piece. I love this line – Life is cyclical energy, ebbing and flowing in a kaleidoscope of interaction that reflects and refracts along the path.

#californiathrasherbird 🤘
Guest
#californiathrasherbird 🤘
9 months ago

Possibly a kaleidoscope rabbit hole were a squirrel actually lived. 🕳️ 🐇

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