HappyDay: ‘When I Teach, I Learn’
Casey O’Neill is a cannabis and food farmer in Mendocino County who has been writing newsletters about his efforts to provide sustainable produce and marijuana. We feature his column once a week.
When I teach, I learn. Articulating a job or task makes me work through it in my brain, turning it over and clarifying the hows and whys of the effort. We slaughtered 39 meat birds this past week, working with friends to put food in the freezers for the months to come. This time was different because we had a small helper. My 4-year old nephew joined us with his morning face, tousled blond hair and Spiderman costume.
Slaughtering is no easy task because of the taking of life that it involves. The physical mechanics of the effort are not difficult because we have the correct tools for the job, but the killing adds a psychological weight that it is important to be aware of and prepared for. Before commencing, we gather in circle to thank the birds for their lives, and to reflect on the transition from living creature to meat in the freezer.
I do not enjoy killing, but it is a necessary part of the journey for our families to eat in the way we want. I don’t want to buy meat raised in factory conditions, and I don’t want to outsource the taking of life. If I am to eat meat, it will be in connection to land and life, raising and husbanding the animals and providing for them as best as I am able.
These birds walked on and ate rich, abundant pasture forage. The chicken tractors are moved each morning so that they get fresh clover and grass every day, open to the sun and air but sheltered from the rain. It is a big effort during the busy spring season, but there is a deep sense of consonance that comes with it, and it has brought together a small community of people I love to share in the work.
We gather first thing in the morning, bringing the birds down from the ranch in crates and setting up the tables, sharpening the knives and readying the plucker. I get up early to start the scalder heating, filling the 40 gallon tank with 5 gallon buckets of hot water that I bring from the water heater in the house to hasten the process.
I take a bird from the crate and place it upside down into the metal killing cone so that the head comes out the bottom and the feet stick up in the air. I slit the throat on each side of the neck just under the chin, making sure to sever both the carotid artery and jugular vein. I do my best to avoid the windpipe so that the birds bleed out while still being able to breathe to ease the process of death.My nephew stood back for a bit, taking in the process. I explained the mechanics of slaughter, showing him how I slit the throat and how after the birds have bled they go into the scalder to loosen the feathers and the skin on the feet. I showed him the plucker, and then Amber explained the process of evisceration to him. He took it all in, and then we began a conversation that continued as I worked.
“Why do they shake like that?” he asked as the one of the birds went through the death rattle in the killing cone. “That’s the spirit leaving the body, as the bird dies the nerves in the body convulse and shake like that.” He nodded and thought for a moment, his little brow crinkled.
I said “you remember your Ava?” (my mother). He nodded and said “she died,” in a matter-of-fact tone. I agreed, “Yes, she did, and her body remained after her spirit went. But we carry her with us in our memory so she is still here with us. This is a little different, the spirit of these chickens leaves their body and then we will eat them in the winter.”
“My Dada makes chicken and we eat it” he said and I nodded in agreement. “But these birds don’t want to die?” he asked. “No, they don’t. It’s a hard thing, which is why we thank them for their lives and do our best to honor them, so that we know where our food comes from.” He was quiet, thinking it through. I added “if people eat meat, it means that animals are killed for that to happen. Some people choose not to eat meat because they don’t want to be part of killing. That’s a choice everyone gets to make for themselves.” He nodded again, still deep in thought, and then walked over to watch everyone working on evisceration.
Children raised on farms often encounter life and death in ways that other children do not. Explaining to a 4-year old about slaughter made me think about it from a new light and perspective. It deepens my resolve to be responsible for the lives of the meat that I eat, to look without flinching. It also reminds me of a softness, a vulnerable place inside me that I want to protect and nurture, so that I don’t become hardened and callous about killing. I am grateful for the lesson. As always, much love and great success to you on your journey!
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Cool word salad to serve with those roasted birds.
All life is sustained by death, you can accept that or avoid that but it is the reality
If it were April fool’s day, Kym would have to switch the article previews with the ‘Snowy plover header!…” My nephew stood back for a bit, taking in the process. I explained the mechanics of slaughter, showing him how I slit the throat…”! I guess I’m running a month late this year!
Thanks again, Casey, for another articulate & thought-provoking read.
My grandfather was a butcher by trade. When he retired he kept chickens and as a little kid, many times I watched him slaughter a bird for the family table by a process much cruder than Casey describes. Certainly we didn’t thank the bird for giving its life for our sustenance, which I know is customary in many cultures. But at an early age I understood that eating meat involves killing (and when you think about it, so does eating any plant-based food for which the entire plant must be sacrificed to provide human nutrition — but no blood, no squeals or squawks!).
Thanking the animal is for our own moral benefit, so that we are made aware that we are living at the expense of another creature, but also, on the dark side, it makes us feel better about doing so because we are showing “respect” for the animal. But I am sure the animal, if it understood the ceremony, would not be at all pleased, or feel honored. I am sure it would much rather live out its natural life than be “thanked.”
I am not a vegetarian. I eat meat almost every day. I like a lot of vegan and vegetarian foods and dishes, and I eat quite a lot of plant-based meals because they taste good and are (mostly) healthier than animal-based foods. I’m also aware that to eat meat only “ in connection to land and life, raising and husbanding the animals and providing for them” as Casey says, is a privilege not available to most people in this culture. Many of us Americans of a certain age and class have the ability to make choices about how we live, but throughout human society, many more people do not. It may be personal choice in my case, and for Casey’s family, but it’s not a choice for everyone; most people throughout the world and history eat what is available to them.
I say, don’t overthink it. Meat is good. Raising or hunting your own meat is great. If you can.
Didja know…if you(catch it, then..) hold a chickens head on the ground, neck stretched out, belly down. Then slowly scratch a line, starting at the beak, out away into the distance, then let go, the chicken will just lay there, neck stretched out, hypnotized! Good party trick, or for the hatchet.
My family’s from the old country. we pushed the chicken against a tree round that is standing up. The chicken automatically lay their head across the round and then with a small hatchet we chop the head off. If you let the chicken go it will run around for about 30 seconds with no head. Fun to do for the kids. IMO this is much better and less suffering for the chicken than slitting it’s throat. Pigeons we just ripped the head off. Rabbits we hung by their feet and slit the throat, (and they scream like a woman)then put a tin can under to catch the blood and we made blood dumplings and blood wurst out of it. Nothing was wasted- we ate the heart, liver, kidneys, even ate the bone marrow.
We slit the throat like Casey described and then poke the pointy end of the knife through the bottom of the beak and through the brain stem. The light goes off in their eyes immediately and that way you can catch the blood.
Never used it in any cooking but we would mix it with water for the garden.
How do you make blood dumplings?
Thank you for your sharing your experience.
Reminding a child that other animals eat animals would also seem a good idea. Most often the kill in those cases is quick also even humans usually have some sort of either shock or delirium that eases the potential pain of death, as does a chicken whose neck has just been grabbed by a fox.
The most painful part of death is the anticipation of it (humans’ big ole brain has a lot of room for that; our curse and blessing) and the loss suffered by those who are left behind; both just serve to teach us the value of life which we express through both grief and joy.
Chickens neither sit around ruminating over their own inevitable death at our hands or via a fox nor did they pay any attention to their fellow chickens being slaughtered (gently as you describe) when I worked on a farm that practiced as you do. I recall a chicken preening just a few feet away from their fellow chicken upside down in the cone bleeding out. Meanwhile at an adjacent farm i heard cows crying when their calves were taken too soon; unnecessary cruelty; in a herd they would at least have been comforted by other herd members and perhaps even have time with other calves if they lost one to a predator.
The commenter who notes rabbit screaming like a woman sounds like a serial killer or some sort of sadist.
Reminding a child that other animals eat animals would also seem a good idea. Most often the kill in those cases is quick also even humans usually have some sort of either shock or delirium that eases the potential pain of death, as does a chicken whose neck has just been grabbed by a fox.
The most painful part of death is the anticipation of it (humans’ big ole brain has a lot of room for that; our curse and blessing) and the loss suffered by those who are left behind; both just serve to teach us the value of life which we express through both grief and joy.
Chickens neither sit around ruminating over their own inevitable death at our hands or via a fox nor did they pay any attention to their fellow chickens being slaughtered (gently as you describe) when I worked on a farm that practiced as you do. I recall a chicken preening just a few feet away from their fellow chicken upside down in the cone bleeding out. Meanwhile at an adjacent farm i heard cows crying when their calves were taken too soon; unnecessary cruelty; in a herd they would at least have been comforted by other herd members and perhaps even have time with other calves if they lost one to a predator.
The commenter who notes rabbit screaming like a woman sounds like a serial killer or some sort of sadist.
I’ve slaughtered chickens and I eat meat and please if you know them personally someone keep an eye out for and on the commenter who noted rabbit screaming “like a woman”; they sound like a serial killer or some sort of sadist. Just goes to show there is more than one way to slaughter a chicken…with torturous glee or respectful, grateful compassion.
And for the commenters who remark that the chicken doesn’t care about all the effort taken…it is mostly for us, to remind ourselves and teach the value of life and cultivate the best conditions in which to live out this inevitably short yet potentially good life. And a fox would kill just as “Kindly”…nature abhors a vacuum and that includes a vacuum of empathy.