Super Mouse

Shutting the bathroom door behind him sharply, my husband marched into the living room this evening and plucked our respected mouser from his seat by the door.  Sleeker, as the cat was dubbed many years ago, gaped dumbfounded at being picked up so abruptly.  Shy and claustrophobic, he generally flees if startled.  He dithers in doorways fearing the enclosure of walls but hating the rain. We have to force him to choose.  Still he’s a great hunter and, living in the country as we do, his skills are in high demand.

This time though, his fear of confinement be damned, my husband put him inside the tiny bathroom, closed the door, and gazed back at family and visitor with an air of having done nothing worthy of comment.

Tersely, he explained, “A mouse.”

Despair.  I know the cat.  It hates being boxed in and the bathroom is smaller than some refrigerators.  That cat is in trauma land.  It isn’t going to be hunting any critters. It’s palms are probably sweating and it is having trouble breathing.

Despair.  I know my husband.  That cat better catch the mouse or it isn’t coming out.

After a discreet moment, I peered in to determine whether the cat had hung himself with his shoelaces.

“Meow.”  Desperation dripped like drool from his mouth.

I looked at my husband.  Nope, “meow” wasn’t cutting it.  That cat was doomed.

Unless perhaps…I slipped in under the pretext of peeing.  The cat eyed me hopefully.  I looked for the mouse.

Rodent stared at me from behind the handsome new wastebasket.  Having fought the enemy for years I had no mercy and removed his shield.  The cat stared glassy eyed at the mouse then piteously at me.  The mouse ran up the wall—literally—like an acrobat, he placed his left feet against the door jamb and his right feet against the other wall only a scant half inch away and raced up the corner.

Holy sugar plum fairies! How high can he get?  Answer: halfway—at which point he fell…plop on the back of Sleeker—Yes, onto the already traumatized cat.  For a moment, he hung on like a bull rider at a rodeo.  But Sleeks horrified stiff legged hop sent him sprawling across the floor.

After this ignominious moment, the feline was almost catatonic.  His eyes, the only thing that twitched on him, pendulated from side to side in a maniacal fashion.

Meanwhile, this shocking escapade convinced me.  I  accepted that the cat wasn’t catching the rodent but I knew my husband hadn’t.  Apparently, I would have to catch the critter myself.  I scooped up a jar from the kitchen.  In and out quickly, I closed the bathroom door behind me.  “Sorry, Cat, the mouse isn’t caught.  You’ll have to suffer for a few more seconds.”  (Optimistically, I choose seconds as the unit of time most appropriate for the task.  Sadly, seconds failed to capture the enormity of the task I had set myself.)

Behind the toilet, in the shower, around the wastebasket, over my leg, the choices for frustrating me seemed endless.  In fact, as minutes crept towards hour, I felt they were endless. But, eventually, Rodent rose to the occasion and making a dash for it, simply ran right up the bathroom door. I failed to see that this was going to get him anywhere and gleefully neared my prey.

Launch—that’s right—launch.  The critter launched himself off the door and down, down down the neck of my sweater.

Scrabbling, he swirled around and around like a marble in a wash machine under my shirt.  I’m afraid I shrieked.  And, as the little dervish planned, I opened the door screaming for help.  Unfortunately for him but much more unfortunately for me (at least in my opinion) my silk undershirt was tucked in so he couldn’t simply slip away.  Around and around he went, then for a change raced part way up one arm then down the other.

“Quinn, help!”  My teenager rushed over but when he discovered the problem began laughing so hard he couldn’t…or wouldn’t help.  Husband, other sons, even the female visitor (who might be expected to sympathize, thank you very much) laughed and hollered rude suggestions.

Somehow the mouse escaped and somehow we were still in the bathroom.  My son slammed the door still sniggering. The mouse and I stared at each other.  I briefly contemplated joining my cat panting and looking for high places to tie my shoelaces but eventually with a clever sideways swoop managed to catch the whirling dervish unaware and thrust him into the jar.

I exited triumphant with my prey on display. My husband, now finally willing to be helpful, offered his handkerchief as a lid.  I photographed the felon then marched him down to the meadow.  As I tipped him over, (I swear on my mother’s blue eyes that this is not hyperbole), he somehow grabbed the kerchief and parachuted down, down down onto the grass into the night.  I heard a rustle of tiny leaves and then he vanished leaving his parachute spread on the hillside.

Could he have been Super Mouse?

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48 comments

  • Kym, I can’t decide whether to ROFLOL or run screaming! I admit I did laugh, a lot, but I also admired your bravery for going into the battlefield against the mouse. I’m afraid I would have opened every exterior door, and then the door to the bathroom, and let the mouse escape. Oh, and I think it’s time to retire your cat!

  • Kym, I can’t decide whether to ROFLOL or run screaming! I admit I did laugh, a lot, but I also admired your bravery for going into the battlefield against the mouse. I’m afraid I would have opened every exterior door, and then the door to the bathroom, and let the mouse escape. Oh, and I think it’s time to retire your cat!

  • Nothing short of magnificent. Another gripping story of life in the country. Well done Kym. Love, Grampa Rob

  • Nothing short of magnificent. Another gripping story of life in the country. Well done Kym. Love, Grampa Rob

  • What a delightful read to start my morning. I am sure this story will become part of of the family lore to be repeated, at your expense, over and over again at family reunions and holiday gatherings.
    Great story and told as only you can tell a story.

  • What a delightful read to start my morning. I am sure this story will become part of of the family lore to be repeated, at your expense, over and over again at family reunions and holiday gatherings.
    Great story and told as only you can tell a story.

  • Have a listen to ‘All in a Mouses Night’ by Genesis………

  • Have a listen to ‘All in a Mouses Night’ by Genesis………

  • we shall name you “dances with mouse”… thanks for the laughs!

  • we shall name you “dances with mouse”… thanks for the laughs!

  • Kym, I was ROFLOL.. but I ran from my computer screen shivering when the mouse launched itself into your shirt…. ewwwwww! Brave woods woman you are… I would be hitting the shower.
    Funny way to start the day..thanks 🙂

  • Kym, I was ROFLOL.. but I ran from my computer screen shivering when the mouse launched itself into your shirt…. ewwwwww! Brave woods woman you are… I would be hitting the shower.
    Funny way to start the day..thanks 🙂

  • There are these moments in country living… well I suppose you have them in all living, but country living is the one I’m most familiar with… That are just down right astonishing. How did each of these events take place one after the other in such a short succession? We shall never know, but what a lovely story you have written from it all!

  • There are these moments in country living… well I suppose you have them in all living, but country living is the one I’m most familiar with… That are just down right astonishing. How did each of these events take place one after the other in such a short succession? We shall never know, but what a lovely story you have written from it all!

  • OMG! Kym The Mighty Hunter!
    Fantastic tale! I would say Kevin is a brat for laughing instead of helping, but I’m afraid I may have reacted even worse as my first instinct in troubled (but hilarious) moments is to start filming.
    Thanks for the laughs!

  • OMG! Kym The Mighty Hunter!
    Fantastic tale! I would say Kevin is a brat for laughing instead of helping, but I’m afraid I may have reacted even worse as my first instinct in troubled (but hilarious) moments is to start filming.
    Thanks for the laughs!

  • I’m still laughing.
    This is the funniest thing I’ve read by you yet.
    Bravo! The suspence was sweet and the outcome neat!

    Super Mouse indeed…

  • I’m still laughing.
    This is the funniest thing I’ve read by you yet.
    Bravo! The suspence was sweet and the outcome neat!

    Super Mouse indeed…

  • God, I love a good story in the morning, with all the great elements, a brave tender hearted country girl, an acrobatic mouse, a dastardly husband, children still finding glee in their mothers fright, a cowardly cat, pathos, drama, and a happy ending! Even a photo.

    My life is better today.

  • God, I love a good story in the morning, with all the great elements, a brave tender hearted country girl, an acrobatic mouse, a dastardly husband, children still finding glee in their mothers fright, a cowardly cat, pathos, drama, and a happy ending! Even a photo.

    My life is better today.

  • Hilarious! We had a great mouser years ago, and finding two mice in the grain barrel, tossed him in. He came out with two tails forming a handlebar moustache. Wish I’d had a camera!

    It’s funny, sometimes they’re pets, other times they are pests – sometimes it’s a matter of perspective – a couple years ago we had stripped the pasture grass to prepare for lawn seed – the kids came running in “Mom! There’s wild hamster in the back yard!” And they gathered up offerings of food which they arranged around the bare hole in the middle of the dustfield. The GOPHER was very surprised and honored at this kind of treatment.

  • Hilarious! We had a great mouser years ago, and finding two mice in the grain barrel, tossed him in. He came out with two tails forming a handlebar moustache. Wish I’d had a camera!

    It’s funny, sometimes they’re pets, other times they are pests – sometimes it’s a matter of perspective – a couple years ago we had stripped the pasture grass to prepare for lawn seed – the kids came running in “Mom! There’s wild hamster in the back yard!” And they gathered up offerings of food which they arranged around the bare hole in the middle of the dustfield. The GOPHER was very surprised and honored at this kind of treatment.

  • Mark told me I had to hurry over and read about Super Mouse at Kym’s blog. Great fun, clever story. Loved it. Hard to believe he parachuted down though. LOL. Are you sure you didn’t exaggerate a little?

  • Mark told me I had to hurry over and read about Super Mouse at Kym’s blog. Great fun, clever story. Loved it. Hard to believe he parachuted down though. LOL. Are you sure you didn’t exaggerate a little?

  • I don’t even know what to say. The imagery is so completely over the top! It couldn’t be better if it were part of an episode of 30 Rock.

  • I don’t even know what to say. The imagery is so completely over the top! It couldn’t be better if it were part of an episode of 30 Rock.

  • ThinkingOutLoud2

    Mouse Whisperer?

  • ThinkingOutLoud2

    Mouse Whisperer?

  • Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!! OMG! That is AWESOME!
    You are so much better than me. The next door neighbors disappeared and apparently left quite a mess. Wood rats had moved in and the landlord started to exterminate them. They’ve been coming here to die.
    Lovely.
    One showed up in our bathroom and I, the brave soul that I am, flapped my hands and said “Ewwwwww gross!”
    My eight year old disposed of it.
    *hangs head in shame*

  • Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!! OMG! That is AWESOME!
    You are so much better than me. The next door neighbors disappeared and apparently left quite a mess. Wood rats had moved in and the landlord started to exterminate them. They’ve been coming here to die.
    Lovely.
    One showed up in our bathroom and I, the brave soul that I am, flapped my hands and said “Ewwwwww gross!”
    My eight year old disposed of it.
    *hangs head in shame*

  • well yes. could’ve been supermouse. could’ve been jesus. we’ll never know, I guess, because it isn’t telling. 😉

  • well yes. could’ve been supermouse. could’ve been jesus. we’ll never know, I guess, because it isn’t telling. 😉

  • I chuckled harder through the comments than I did at myself. Thanks you all.

    And I swear he literally parachuted down. He may not have meant to do it but he looked as unruffled as James Bond.

  • I chuckled harder through the comments than I did at myself. Thanks you all.

    And I swear he literally parachuted down. He may not have meant to do it but he looked as unruffled as James Bond.

  • “Holy sugar plum fairies!” LOL! I’m totally stealing that 😀

    And it’s so true that we tend to step in to resolve situations that others won’t because we take everyone’s feelings into consideration–even the cat’s. I completely understand.

    Thanks for that much-needed belly laugh!

  • “Holy sugar plum fairies!” LOL! I’m totally stealing that 😀

    And it’s so true that we tend to step in to resolve situations that others won’t because we take everyone’s feelings into consideration–even the cat’s. I completely understand.

    Thanks for that much-needed belly laugh!

  • When does your photo/comedy book come out? You write great stories as well as take great photos.

  • When does your photo/comedy book come out? You write great stories as well as take great photos.

  • make a good monolgue piece

  • make a good monolgue piece

  • Aaah Kym- I can see it all. I suppose if I’d been there, I would have helped, but I would’ve been laughing too. Great story- and I agree- you shall be called dances with mouse. Miss you!

  • Aaah Kym- I can see it all. I suppose if I’d been there, I would have helped, but I would’ve been laughing too. Great story- and I agree- you shall be called dances with mouse. Miss you!

  • This reminds me of a book we used to have when I was a kid called “If Mice Could Fly.”
    If mice could fly
    they would nest in the trees
    and soar through the air
    with the greatest of ease.
    The cats on the ground
    although they might try
    would never quite catch
    a mouse in the sky.
    (it goes on to If mice could swim, were like monkeys, like elephants.)
    But mice cannot fly,
    they don’t swim or climb trees,
    they just plunder the kitchen
    for syrup and cheese

  • This reminds me of a book we used to have when I was a kid called “If Mice Could Fly.”
    If mice could fly
    they would nest in the trees
    and soar through the air
    with the greatest of ease.
    The cats on the ground
    although they might try
    would never quite catch
    a mouse in the sky.
    (it goes on to If mice could swim, were like monkeys, like elephants.)
    But mice cannot fly,
    they don’t swim or climb trees,
    they just plunder the kitchen
    for syrup and cheese

  • Lisa, I think Super mouse read that book;>

    Thanks all,

    Yesterday I got in my car. Turned on the fan and little bits of insulation whirled through the air…I think I got Super Moused again!

  • Lisa, I think Super mouse read that book;>

    Thanks all,

    Yesterday I got in my car. Turned on the fan and little bits of insulation whirled through the air…I think I got Super Moused again!

  • Oh, Kym….I love this story so much! It made me laugh and laugh…and then get all teary from missing country life. Wonderful.

  • Oh, Kym….I love this story so much! It made me laugh and laugh…and then get all teary from missing country life. Wonderful.

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