Life in a Small Town
Those who grew up in small towns will laugh when they read this.
Those who didn’t will be in disbelief and won’t understand how true it is.
1) You can name everyone you graduated with. (Also 3 classes ahead of, and
2) You know what 4-H means. (And FFA and Grange)
3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, (forest, river bar)
or in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was at
the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the
woods when the party was busted. See #6.
4) You used to”drag”Main. (In the next big-enough town an hour away)
5) You whispered the ‘F’ word and your parents knew within the hour.
6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers,
because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn’t.
7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old
you were -and if you were old enough, they’d tell your parents anyhow.
Besides, where would you get the money?
8) When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes
(or whatever), you still had to go out into the country and drive on back
roads to smoke them.
9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer
dropped off. (And which section of the ditch you would find your buyer
after he dropped off)
10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town. (Unless it was
a girl -and then she was slutty)
11) The whole school went to the same party after graduation. (At the same spot in the woods.)
12) You didn’t give directions by street names but rather by references.
Take the 2nd fork to the left, go about 5 miles past the Kemps, and it’s the 5th
gravel road to the right after the broken gate – but not the dirt road.
13) The golf course had only 9 holes. (And darn lucky we had it too.)
14) You couldn’t help but date a friend’s ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. (or
possibly your 2nd cousin)
15) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never
own a dark vehicle for this reason. (“Wash me” and other less savory words written on the back window provide a clear space to aid in backingup.)
16) The town next to yours was considered ‘trashy’ or ‘snooty,'(And the
girls from there were slutty) but it was actually just like your town.
17) You referred to anyone with a house newer than 1960 as the ‘rich’
18) The people in the ‘big city’ dressed funny, and then you picked up the
trend 2 years later. (10 years later around here)
19) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or the
dairybar. (or just ‘bar’ )
20) Directions were given using THE stop sign as a reference.
21) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.
22) Your teachers called you by your older siblings’
23) Your teachers remembered when they taught your
24) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID. (or even a real check – you could write it on a
25) There was no McDonalds.
26) You dial a wrong number and talk for 15 minutes anyway.
27) You don’t use your turn signal because everyone knows where you’re going.
28) The closest mall was over an hour away. (And it wouldn’t have counted as a mall in any place but a small town.)
29) It was normal to see an old man riding through
town on a riding lawn mower. (horse or motorcycle)
30) Most people went by a nickname. (This one didn’t even strike me as
funny until I realized that most people would think it was
weird….) Or were known as part of a couple such as Kym of Kym and Kevin.
31) You’ve pee’d in a cornfield. (and forest, roadside, riverbank,
and behind your house when you forgot your key)
32) You drive into the ditch five miles out of town and the word gets back into town before you do.
33) You move in and you are no longer a stranger after ten minutes, but you’re still a newcomer after twenty years
34) You laughed your butt off reading this because
you know it is true.
I would not have wanted to have been raised any
My best friend, Debbie Green, forwarded this to me with a few comments of her own.
I added a few, some of which I got from this town webpage.
Photo from a great site that has wonderful pictures of the Redwood Highway. Really worth a visit.