Odd, Old News: In Which a Major Wants to See the Wondrous Cave in Bear Buttes

The Gus Schumacher Hotel, circa 1890. [Photo used with permission from Margarite Cook & Diane Hawk’s book, The Early Days, page 12]

Following the exciting three part newspaper account of the exploration of the Bear Butte cave (see last week and the week before), Elk Ridge locals chimed in. One old-timer shared the results of his search for the cave, and “Matilda Travers” gave a critique of the writing. [Please note: There was abundant skepticism about claims to have discovered a cave on Bear Butte even in the 1800’s. Now, well over 100 years later, there have been no credible reports of finding a large cave. Please remember this is based on a story from a well-known storyteller. And please, please do not invade private property attempting to find Gus Schumacher’s hot air.)

7/1/1882 Daily Humboldt Standard

LETTER FROM ELK RIDGE
….We are slowly recovering from the effects of the intense excitement caused by reading the description of that wonderful cave in our neighborhood—several parties have visited the Buttes to behold this great natural wonder, and have come away filled with wrath and disappointment. We interviewed that famous old inhabitant upon his return, “Did you see the cave?” asked we anxiously.

“Cave” he ejaculated in a tone of concentrated wrath and disgust, “I came near breaking my neck two or three times. Why there isn’t a hold in that mountain big enough to put a bushel of potatoes in. Just let me find the man who wrote that piece, and I will make a cave in his head, I’ll bet it is another one of Gus Schumacher’s big yarns.”

The cave only exists in the fertile brain of your correspondent, and he deserves a place in the foremost rank of imaginative writers.

We shall expect to see, in print, ere long a volume, resembling “Gulliver’s Travels” or the “Adventures of Baron Munchhausen.” I would humbly suggest a title for this new book, tis this: “My adventures in Southern Humboldt or Startling Stories of a Strange County”. I have already commenced writing a criticism of the book which I fondly imagine will the means of placing the dazzling chapeet of fame upon the brow of the author, myself, and on those of all our sisters, cousins, and aunts….
Respectfully yours, Matilda Travers

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But the storyline didn’t end there, poor Gus Schumacher, owner of Schumacher Hotel, restaurant and groggery in downtown Garberville, got paid a visit from a government official who wanted a tour of the cave….

Democratic Standard 7/31/1882
Judge Ferris of Ferndale paid us a friendly visit on Wednesday. His hunting trip to the South Fork has improved him wonderfully. Major Halleck of the U.S. service was one of the party, Smith Fulmore, ‘who shoots a gun that never hits,” was also a member of the party. They enjoyed themselves. How could they help when they were on the South fork?

Gus Schumacher was the only man who was discomfited. The devil’s luck always falls to Gus. When the party arrived at Garberville and entered the new hotel which Gus finished last winter, the Prussian landlord pricked up his ears, assumed a business air and came forward to offer a profuse welcome to the dusty tourists.

Mr. Ferrill introduced him to Major Halleck, at the same time explaining that in accordance with a custom long prevailing in the United States service, of making a careful survey of all natural wonders and curiosities coming under the notice of the department, the Major was at Garberville for the purpose of making a survey of the Great Cave of Bear Buttes which has appeared in these columns. Gus straightened himself up, threw his head well back, wiped off his chin, pulled down his vest, raised his eyebrows a little higher, put on a serious troubled look and bowed his compliments but said not a word. He grunted a little, looked at the Major then at Mr. Ferrill, and seemed to be in a sea of trouble.

But making a desperate effort, he said “Vell, yentlemen, vill you take a vash?”

He waited on the guests in ominous silence, and then rushed through the dining room into the kitchen, and out of the back gate, and was rushing bald-headed down the gulch, when Mrs. Schumacher spied him, hailed him, and asked him where he was going. He halted, turned back, and with a nervous restlessness about his eyes said:
“Vell, I was just going somewhere. That d—– Standard man has got me in a bad way. He makes me dhroubles. The Government sends a man all the way from Washington to survey dot cave and dey wants me to go and show dem all about it. Now you see, I just goes de oder way. I goes near dot schnake no more…Dey can just go to de devil mit dot cave. If I efer gits out of dis I will sue do Standard man for de dhroubles he makes me!”

With this Gus rushed around the corner of the house, slipped through Bill Amberson’s blacksmith shop and went down to tell his trouble to old man Garber, who as usual was equal to the emergency. They both went over and conferred with Capt. Hardin a few minutes, when it was decided that Garber should palm off the plat of a coal mine which he had on the Major, represent that it was a perfectly authentic survey of the cave, and that the place was so full of snakes that it was dangerous to enter it. As no United States officer was ever known to do a lick of work in the filed when they could do it on paper Gus felt very much relieved and returned to the hotel and did his level best to entertain his guests, and he knows just how to do it.

Earlier Odd and Old News:

• Odd, Old News: A Cave in Bear Buttes
• Biggest Rattlesnake Ever?
• The Legend of Humboldt’s Loch Ness Monster
• Return Of The Man Eating Snake Of The South Fork (First ‘Viral’ Story From SoHum)
• Schumacher’s Snake as Caught by the Press
• A Curious Cave in the Eel River Valley
• Séance Shortened by Spirited Spirit
• Odd, Old News: A Cave in Bear Buttes (Parts One and Two) 
• Odd, Old News: A Wondrous Cave Continued…(Part Three)