The Trimmer’s Lament

A reader, Charles Wilson, sent us the following song to be sung to the tune of the Streets of Laredo to which we have helpfully attached a copy of Mickey Raphael’s instrumental below so you can sing along.

Trimmer

A trimmer in Redway. [Photo taken in 2008 by Kym Kemp]

As I was out walking the main street of Redway
I was hailed by a young man in ragged attire
“Oh sir can you help me find gainful employment
My car’s out of gas and it has a blown tire
You can see by my scissors that I am a trimmer
You can see by my gear that I’m looking for work
I need buds to clip and I need to get paid well
So I don’t want to clip bud for some rip-off jerk”“My friend you’re mistaken cause I’m not a grower
I can offer a job but it’s not cutting weed.
And I merely pay wages, no beer is provided
I’ll give you strong coffee but I don’t allow speed”
With a look of disgust he walked down the sidewalk
To join a small crowd of similar folk
They came to make money by working the harvest
But most will go home with some stories but broke.

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72 comments

  • Lots of Spaniard ladies this year in garberville, cute but dumb…

    • And all accompanied by a dirty dreaded dude. Lol

    • Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish trimmers,
      Farewell and adieu to you trimmers from Spain,
      For there is no work here so you’ll have to go home now
      Go home and get Spanish welfare again.

      • Diesel DRW - Curb Weight 7762 lbs

        Spanish welfare… 100 points!

        If they ask me for a job, I give them a sandwich, and tell them to work on that…

    • So ladies I got this job…n a barn….10 miles down a dirt road in the middle of nowhere with no cell service…wanna jump in my van?

  • Brilliant!

  • Wow, I just saw that scenario play out at a gas station near the Avenue of the Giants on my way back north.

    • So tired of this garbage

      Gas station/Avenue…? I think not.

      • Uhh yes, it’s in Miranda on the Ave, Der!

        • how many people do you know would stop there if on the drive north? pot trolls never think clearly. he claimed to have 20 foot redwood stumps at 1,500 feet and no fishers due to a new grow next to his property. the largest stump at the top of fickle hill is 8 feet max.

          • Dang you do really believe all your own stray thoughts, don’t you? I blame pot fogged thinking.

            From wikipedia-” The tallest and oldest trees are found in deep valleys and gullies, where year-round streams can flow, and fog drip is regular. The trees above the fog layer, above about 2,296 ft (700 m), are shorter and smaller due to the drier, windier, and colder conditions.”

            1500 feet elevation is certainly in the fog layer. And while, unlike you, I can not say all Fickle Hill has or hasn’t stumps of a certain size, it does not change the fact that you are certainly wrong. Again.

            • it seems you don’t recall your claim of having 20 foot stumps and live at 1,500 ft. go measure your largest stump and get back to me. i would assume the fishers left your property due to the drought that started about the same time as your claim of when the last time you claim to have seen a fisher. unless of course you made the whole thing up, which i already concluded on. gee i don’t see any spotted owls on my property, what did LP do?

              • Read again. S-l-o-w-l-y.

                • this is you last month in response to a comment I made saying you are full of it.
                  “There are large stumps, some 20 ft, with spring board notches. To the side of some of those are 3 ft stumps with some decay. Near those are smaller stumps not decayed.
                  I live at 1500 ft , facing the ocean. It is in the fog belt in the foot hills. If you are in Eureka, you will see the first lines of hills with their heads frequently in the clouds. Or if you’re inside the cloud, it’s fog. Redwoods harvest fog. Standing under one is like standing in the rain if the fog is dense while the ground not under a canopy is dry. There is one place with 3 very large stumps remarkably close together that has a winter brook that doesn’t dry up til July. It will frequently be dry in Eureka and wet up here. Has nothing to do with the ‘water table’ which I suspect is likely a thousand feet down.
                  So yes, my place is dotted with very large stumps. And I had fishers. The last I saw one was 2000. The last I heard one at night was the next year.
                  I also think you need to get around more.”
                  so do you have 20 foot stumps or not?

                • I never said otherwise. I live at 1500ft and there is a twenty foot stump about 60 feet away from my house. There are other large stumps.

                  This is a silly conversation. You want me to convince you of something you don’t want to believe. Your problem and from now on I won’t go round with you over this. [edit]

  • These types of stories will be archived as soon as it’s too hard to sell snowcones to Eskimos…

  • Trimmers suck there jobs will soon be taken over

    • It won’t be long and technology will have produced a machine that can trim very close to hand trimming. Do you think big tobacco in the San Joaquin Valley are going to use these people? Nope.

      • They already have mechanical trimmers and they are even manufactured in nocal. Little pricey but they will pay for themselves. Plus there is less drama, screwing around, hang overs and they don’t steal the weed … that in itself sounds like a great reason to purchase if you have the need.

    • *their…

  • I hope no one is murdered by trimmers this year!

  • Sorry but you won’t be winning any prizes wit that tune.. 😉 And yes it seems like half of Spain is hanging out at most any local gas station these days.. Imagine the 6 year old trimmer jackpot story that got them all over here.. The buds just keep getting bigger and heavier every time its told.. I wish them only the best but between telling folks “No I dont have work” for the 20th time today I may start dropping hints like hey bro maybe don’t waste the airfair next year.. Minimum wage is the future folks as the sun sets on a good run!! Cheers!!

  • Most of them will except the going rate of $80 – $100 per pound, they get a little dismayed the price isn’t $200 anymore though.

  • So tired of this garbage

    Humboldt Grammy!!!

  • What is the going rate to pay a trimmer per pound right now?

    • Anywhere from $130 to $175 per pound.

      • In 1983 the going trim rate was $125/pound. Adjusted for inflation that is $307/pound. in 2017 dollars. In 1995 the going trim rate was $250/pound. Adjusted for inflation that is $401/ pound in 2017 dollars. When I graduated from high school in 1975 a brick of browned stem and seed filled Mexican pot was $150/pound. Adjusted for inflation that’s $682 in 2017 dollars. So presently trimmers are getting paid one half to less than a third what they were 20-30 years ago and good Humboldt Sensimilla bud is worth less than crappy Mexican grown pot was 40 years ago. The farther you go the behinder you get!

        • Diesel DRW - Curb Weight 7762 lbs

          Yes, a stupid endeavor, for stupid people. Soon you will only get half of half of half! Satisfied? AND, there is no “good” bud, it is all shit!

          • Wow Diesel, you are like a nun in a whorehouse… do you have friends in county? I do like the sandwich thing tho… I used to go to 7-11 and buy $5 pizzas in Las Vegas. I would walk down the north end of the strip handing slices out to the junkies… Made me feel AWESOME

            • Diesel DRW - Curb Weight 7762 lbs

              Dear Stugotz,

              If I hadn’t wasted so much of my life getting high, I probably wouldn’t feel this way. My friends all have regular employment, and don’t grow or smoke weed. Being clean and sober gets you WAY higher than drugs! Tim Leary was right, even though he wasn’t particularly continent…

              • Ahh, I knew you had reason for so much hate. It didn’t work out for you, so it must suck for everybody. Not really how it works. Sorry you “wasted so much of my life getting high”, sucks for you. Others don’t ruin their life by consuming cannabis. In fact, lots of successful people consume cannabis and other drugs as well.

                • Gottum!

                • KThats how stugotz feelz…. he likes medicating germ line mutant cancer cells away… Hopes others with cancer or genetic predisposition do the same… getting high, maybe. Getting to Love? Getting to Live?? I’ll smoke to that erry time.

  • Sounds like $80 to $100.. For newbies its probably less than minimum wage. Hopefully folks can make enough for a three month supply of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches plus recoupe the $1500 airfare.

  • fuckwalterwhite.com

    Remember last year,the cops posted craigslist ads. And then gave the replies a strong warning about murder,rape and ripoffs.

  • ha! Good one Charley…

  • You would have to be desperate for help to hire these drones. Just by the look or smell of them. They are pretty damn gross. To be clear I am speaking of the groups of want to be trimmers staging in town begging for lame trim jobs.

  • Someone please make a decent trim machine so we can have our town back!

  • The ones I’ve met are pretty nice actually, found some amiable Basques guys who were willing to pull up scotch broom for $15 hour…

  • Seriously, who would hire some dude for trim work? Wishful thinking.

  • Diesel DRW - Curb Weight 7762 lbs

    But, why from Spain? I don’t understand…

    • THink there is a thriving grow scene in Spain and it’s a lot like California topographically and climatologically. Hope to get me some of that 7700 lbs curb weight one of these days, too. Jah bless.

  • I’m dreaming. Want to keep it at 200 per pound.
    I thought about this earlier though. If these people looking for work would be willing to do stuff other than trimming. Hmm. I guess this partially answers my question.

  • never seen a trimmer who can clean up after themselves all sloppy pigs mostly lazy always trying to take advantage. its all about them.Where and how do they eat and drink when they are not here.

  • Most growers prefer to hire European women for trim jobs, often in hopes they are slutty and will put out. Most male trimmers will not find work unless they already know somebody. Best find some other way to make a buck.

  • Got to love this time of year

  • There is far fewer than last yr now that they aren’t being fed three days a week at the mateel. Far fewer shady loitering folks in genral on afternoons tues thru thurs.
    Redway is a little quieter now. Folks have to spend their nickels on food now not dope.
    Funny..these problems don’t exist in southern oregon. And currently they grow as much pot as we do..think about it…

    • Diesel DRW - Curb Weight 7762 lbs

      As soon as it spits a little rain or gets cold, it’s fooosh – thumbs out, back to Europe!

    • Oregon has a handy website you get a license to trim on (or work at a farm, or a dispensary) then you have to present said license and I9 documents to work there. Still around $200/lb trimming. Their pricing didn’t bottom out the way ours did. I haven’t worked with any undocumented immigrants there…we really should be looking at what is working in other states that went legal

    • Its blatantly obvious that you have NO idea, how much pot gets grown in them there hills. I assure you, Oregon may grow a lot of weed, but they cant hold a candle to Humboldt.

      It’s like when government agencies make claims and statements about how much pot is grown, or how much money the cannabis industry in Humboldt makes each year. Its always so laughable. Their shots in the dark are so bad its obvious they have NO CLUE the actual scope of the get-down here.

      Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

  • All y’all weed sucks anyway

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