Winning and Losing: Finding Some Common Ground

Hillary Clinton figure with marijuana. [Photos provided by a reader]

Hillary Clinton figure with marijuana. [Photos provided by a reader]

Let’s be blunt, people, no matter what your views on marijuana and the presidential election, this has been a tough year. Long time allies became enemies, people unfriended family they loved on Facebook, dinner tables and community conversations became strained.

As much as possible, let’s try to behave with grace in the aftermath of this brutal election year. Both winners and losers have some healing to do.

Winners–we were all taught as kids that winners shouldn’t rub in their success. Remember how hard it is to lose and be gracious to those who are dealing with laws and leaders that may greatly impact their lives in ways they passionately don’t want. You won. Just like when your team beat another as a kid and you stood in a line to shake the other side’s hand, remember this is a time for restraint and compassion.

Losers–those of you who feel as if you were punched in the gut by last night’s votes, suck up your feelings of bitterness, your belief that something apocalyptic occurred. Try to regroup and figure out how to move forward in a world that is very different that you hoped and fought to make real. Of course, these election results are not a game. They may affect your life and the lives of people you care about in ways you believe are unbearable but don’t throw in your hand and stomp off leaving others to clean up the mess. Be gracious for now and figure out how to up your game for the next battle.

Whether you won or lost, remember most of the folks on the other side love kids, their pets and simple pleasures like sunshine on green grass. Try to connect with each other over this shared love. Reach out a little across that gaping divide. It really is up to you individually to be the best human you can be.

Also, remember, no matter how little we understand each other’s positions, we still need to try to communicate. This toddler explaining her book to her dog isn’t necessarily truly talking but she’s sharing what she loves with someone she loves. And, the dog, he might not understand, but he’s trying.

Video provided by Christina Giltzow.

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86 comments

  • Great writing kym. Still in shock, but as I head out for my day, I’ll keep in mind your words. How did we get here??? I will never take for granted the power of voting. Didn’t help this time, maybe next time.😪

    • http://www.spirituallysmart.com/waco.html

      Billy was your man, Hillary is your woman? Janet Reno is your executioner.

    • The handouts are over, feel the burn

      • Yeah, it’s gonna a nightmare for the states like Mississippi and Kentucky and Wisconsin and Ohio and Louisiana, the states that get all their handouts from California and New York and where the welfare rolls are filled with drug-addicted lazy white folks who get screwed now that Trump is in town.

        Happy days indeed. Oh, and don’t forget the 20 million Americans who were able to afford a health plan and see a doctor for the first time in a decade, those moochers can go right back to dealing with a shady insurance company and never seeing a doctor again. Those moochers deserved it right?

        I can’t wait ’til Trump and Ryan cut medicare and force those lazy fat-ass old sick white people to get off their retired fat asses and get back to work. Those moocher asked for it, right?

        High five!

        Trump that bitch! Trump that bitch!

  • So happy kym, Souther Humboldt did it!

    GO TRUMP GO!

    WE WON!

    • Thank God Trump won, now the babies are big winners also. All those babies that were to be aborted will live and among them could be another Trump to help us restore sanity to government. Hillary will win also as no more babies under her policies will be killed and she will have less trouble with her conscience. and if she can humble herself and listen to her spirit and listen to Trump she could become a better person. so it is a win – win situation.

      • Yes, now if only those babies in impoverished and low-income households could be confident that they will be fed, clothed, housed, and educated.

        • They will be once we get the non citizens sucking up all the jobs and space in class rooms back home . Do you realize how much money they use from our system and don’t pay into it ? We will have jobs and manufacturing come home when you place tariffs on foreign goods . There will be plenty for all citizens once we start invensting in infrastructure and our veterans

      • Tugboat [edit] Trump is a great salesman, he knows what people want to hear when they want to hear it, he will never get the things he said he will do done at all. You have been fooled and there’s no turning back from it now. I have a feeling you’ll understand what I’m saying in a year or so when he does nothing/ starts ruining this country. Atleast your happy for the time being though.

  • Time for change , affordable care act is a failure so farewell, and so many other government programs, time for some serious cleaning.

    • Ok ,
      Lone Ranger now your the new president of Home Depot ,how would that work out?surely the company would change ?would it be a huge gamble?.experience does matter .
      But congratulations nonetheless and remember this election was not a fair fight only the Democratic Party was hacked so next election when republicans are exposed …is that what we want for our democracy?

      • Experience? You surround yourself with the best people in that field, so easy , as far as democratic party being hacked , it’s all fair , goes both ways , called transparency, what this nation seems to be all about these days.

        • Generally I’d agree about transparency but Outside influence by Russia as reported by our DHS is all fair ,your ok with this?hmmm- I disagree ,but congrats.

          https://www.dhs.gov/news/2016/10/07/joint-statement-department-homeland-security-and-office-director-national

          • It would be nice if the person with the most actual votes, the popular vote, rather than the electoral college deciding. It feels pointless to vote. It’s what happened with bush&gore as well as this one,& that election was fixed. When a candidate calls for people to intimidate opposing voters then its easyto see how he won. Bully everyone! Am moving away, I can’t contribute to what’s gonna happen. Get ready for war on our soil

            • Sounds good , but you more than likely would have had a bigger trump turnout in California

            • the misadventures of bunjee

              If you took away California, Trumps electoral and popular vote increases quite a bit. The electoral college has been in place since 1787. It’s designed for the Constitution to be a mix of state-based and population based government, whereas smaller states are guaranteed a voice in national matters and not be completely overrun by the larger, more populous states. People obviously don’t like it when their candidate loses, but it’s there for a reason and works as designed by the Constitution.
              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electoral_College_%28United_States%29

              What happened in 2000 was a joke, with all sorts of shenanigans on both sides. Last night’s election was contentious, but it was a solid win for Trump, however unpleasant the result was for a lot of folks. However if we were to vote via strictly popular vote, then that creates unfairness and opens the door for larger states to meddle in the affairs of the smaller ones. Not that they don’t already, but it is a safeguard (electoral delegates are voted on by the people too, so….). Also, winning with only 48% of the vote, when only 50% of the population actually does, is not fair to the US as a whole. Now if a candidate had more than a simple majority, say 60%/40%, I could accept that without an electoral vote. That’s a clear, obvious majority, not one that gets dragged out in the courts for weeks and comes down to 537 votes out of 100 million. THat isn’t fair to anyone, regardless of who won.

      • Home Depot isn’t failing. They’re profitable with an amazing business plan. Time for America to follow its lead.
        #Trump

        • Hillary Clinton got more votes, it’s because of the electoral college trump won. If your so stuck on being “winners” technically Hillary Clinton got more votes. I just have one question do you really want this racist and sexist man in control instead of having someone who is clearly qualified for the position?

      • What an ignorant statement! The DNC stole the election of Bernie Sanders through cheating and graft and now it’s Wiki leaks fault. The Democrats had a candidate who could have won, but because of the Clinton Fraud Machine and chicanery the only Democrat who could have won was left off the ballot and Bernie supporters got screwed. It’s your own damn fault for what happened you whiny idiots. She screwed you and you liked it, I guess or did you?

    • My son would have died without ACA! So shut

      up about things you know nothing about!

      • Before the ACA there was a federal insurance for the uninsurable due to cost prohibition or congenital diseases . Obamacare didn’t change anything accept mandate you had to have insureance and then subsidize the fees with taxpayer dollars . Then it just skyrocketed but they increased the subsidies to make it look like it was costing less than it really was . Now the insurance companies can hand out a shit service for a premium price and you have to be a customer . Slavery plain and simple .

    • Lost Croat Outburst

      So, if you or your sick baby requires a $100,000 medical bill, perhaps for a “pre-existing condition,” what do parents do after ObamaCare is repealed by the “pro-lifers? Got a plan? Die quickly?

      • Buy health insurance like the rest of us that work 24/7 , and if 1 job doesn’t get you enough hours get a second, and 3rd, 18 hours a day 7 days a week gets it done for me. I pay quite a bit a year for insurance, I am what you call insurance poor, but my family is covered, what’s wrong America, afraid of a little work, come on, do a little work in your lifetime.

        • Prior to the ACA people were denied the right to buy health insurance due to pre-existing conditions. The ACA has provided health care to millions of people. It needs to be strengthened not destroyed.

          • Then just make health insurance providers cover pre -existing conditions, and make everyone pay one rate, then we are right back to work more so you can pay YOUR own premium, there is,no need for the affordable part, work people work , and there is plenty of work to be had

            • You do not understand the ACA and what good it has done for people. People died because insurance companies denied people to even purchase health insurance due to préexisting conditions like a slightly elevated blood pressure!

              • Your right, I don’t understand why the government needs to pay anything, just make insurance company cover everyone with no excuses , but everyone pay their own way

          • Wrong . There was a federal program called Pre existing condition insurance plan. PCIP look it up . It was 119 dollars a month . 100% coverage . Obama care repealed that . Now my insurance is crap and five times more expensive . More Obama lies that people just repeat . It’s sad

      • we simply cannot afford the checks govt is writing. Our children will be paying the debts of their parents for years to come.

        Our current president has killed more women and children via remote control airplanes than bush did.

        We get inflated and manipulated numbers on employment to convince
        us the economy is good. When the average American knows it’s only good for the wealthy.

        Insurance premiums have gone up 25% in two years. And insurance companies dictate your doctors and services where they never did before.

        Going to certain neighborhoods in the Midwest look like Central America now and that’s s not necessarily a bad thing. But it is a sign of rapid immigration without assimilation.

        The list goes on. And while we are in California there are other states that think differently by what goes on around them on a day to day basis. They are affected by policies of our last president.

        It’s disgusting that trump won. But Hillary is obama extended and protector of his legacy. A legacy that has polarized enough people to vote in numbers.

        Debbie Wasserman-Schultz really fucked us all. The arrogance. She really split the democratic vote and created a low turnout.

        Bernie could have won.

  • No matter if you’re a hater or not, Trump won. Therefore we are all winners.

    • Lost Croat Outburst

      Unproven hypothesis. We’ll see, but he has major mental health issues, as indicated by his many public utterances and posturing. Congress and SCOTUS will be Republican dominated so we will depend on his family for some control of his megalomania.

      Congratulations Trumpsters everywhere. I hope for the best but fear for the worst.

      • I always prepare for the worst and hope for the best, this way it eliminates the fear. Pretty slick huh? Sometimes I surprise my uneducated self! But I’d rather be lucky than educated.

  • First time since I voted for Ronald Reagan,that we won everything we voted for.wow.our world needs a change,let’s hope this president does well.god bless us all

    • Reagan did many good things, G-ma. I agree. But when he shut down all the mental health hospitals, he sowed the seeds of Homelessness. No matter who does what, it’s on us to look ahead and anticipate the blow-back. For some reason or other, politicians of all stripes find that difficult. af

  • Local male yrumo supporters lije john chiv:
    If you voted for trump I have to assume that you agree with sexually assaulting, raping and groping women so I as a woman will not feel safe in your presence. When a woman asks you to move away you better or the authorities will be called and restraining orders will be requesred, tho after the first year our rights as women will be dramatically cut so it may not be possible in the future. But for now, I’m keeping my taste close at hand!

    • Beegi,1st I’m a women who was raped years ago,and if for one min.i thought all the bullshit said about Trump were true we wouldn’t have voted for him.im a women,yes he’s a man and men talk about women sometimes ugly,and I’ve heard it more than I should have,we run a construction co.And quit frankly I’m tried of being lied to!!!Everything needs to change,our lives depend on it,so I’m giving that vulgar mouthed man a chance.

  • I can’t buy into the racist shit .Not all trump supporters are racist but all the racists voted for trump .

  • The hackers at wiki leaks are anarchists that’s what this is all about .The destruction of the us and the government makes them happy .Remember wiki leaks has a federal warrant for his arrest in the us .

  • I share with Kym the choice to accept what has happened, whatever side of the vote my heart and mind may have been on. We’re all going to have to deal with the changes that are coming and working to be fair and kind is more important I think than being right or wrong.
    Or as Dave Mason put it:
    “We Just Disagree”

    Been away, haven’t seen you in a while
    How’ve you been, have you changed your style?
    And do you think that we’ve grown up differently?
    Don’t seem the same, seems you’ve lost your feel for me

    So let’s leave it alone, ’cause we can’t see eye to eye
    There ain’t no good guy, there ain’t no bad guy
    There’s only you and me and we just disagree
    Ooh-hoo-hoo, oh-oh-ho

    I’m going back to a place that’s far away
    How bout you, have you got a place to stay?
    Why should I care when I’m just trying to get along?
    We were friends, but now it’s the end of our love song

    So let’s leave it alone, ’cause we can’t see eye to eye
    There ain’t no good guy, there ain’t no bad guy
    There’s only you and me and we just disagree
    Ooh-hoo-hoo, oh-oh-ho”

    and thanks Kym for the reminder.

  • What did Hillary in, in my opinion, is that she was “looking to become President” while Donald Trump offers dramatic change to people who demand change. It looks like his Cabinet is shaping up as very experienced with Giuliani, Christie, Jeff Sessions as Secretary of Defense, etc. Bottom line is that an HRC administration would have been “more of the same, but LESS” and this just wasn’t good enough for a lot of voters.

    • When your car starts coughing and spitting, you need change. You can take the car to someone who’s had a repair shop for 30 years or you can take it to a guy who tells you he knows more about cars than anyone else and he’ll make your car great again, even though he’s never actually fixed a car in his entire life because he’s actually a shoe salesman. Maybe you’ll get lucky and your car will come back running smoothly. Who knows?

      • Makes me wish that the system was designed to only have two repair shops. India, the largest democracy in the world, has over 200 repair shops.

  • Isn’t this a repeat of 2008 in reverse? When the Dems won the house ,senate and presidency, full power and how they wouldn’t let the republicans sit at the table or budge and inch on anything? How are you all going to handle “you will have to wait until the bill is passed before you know what’s in it”. Its wrong who ever is in power so don’t whine too much snowflakes, because your party used this method first.

    • Lost Croat Outburst

      You gotta be kidding. Obama tried to work with the Repubs but they refused and dissed him at every turn. Guess you missed Mitch McConnells statement that ruining Obama’s presidency was job 1, more important than the economy in 2009. Working with Repubs got us a watered-down health care law. BFD. Nothing Obama could do could stop the relentless hate. Now that your guy won, we have to be conciliatory? I hope our side can do it but the modern Republicans offer one hell of a lousey example.

  • There is one thing that stands out to me, both parties had protest candidates (Sanders and Trump). The republicans let democracy have its way, but the dems denied the American people their say at the primaries, and stole Sanders’ candidacy. America once again gets what she deserves. I survived Reagan, I survived Bush, I will survive Trump also.

  • Trump voters will be pissed off when they realize he’s a con man!

  • One positive is the media will be relentless on reporting any blunders, incompetence or lies from this oval office and cabinet. They have seemed to forgot how to do their job over the last 8 years.

  • either way, our choices for this year sucked. Hillary is a known liar and flip flopper, and is against the 2nd amendment even though she did try to candy coat that, not to mention the democratic party itself is corrupt (proven by wiki leaks that they basically screwed bernie sanders to get hillary the nomination). And on the other hand, trump is a load mouth, semi racist, womanizer with zero experience in politics. I’m just trying to remain optimistic that Mike pence at least has a little experience in politics and will hopefully be able to stop trump from making too many stupid decisions.

    • There are actually a lot of mechanisms to prevent Trump from doing stupid sh**. 60 votes required in the Senate to avoid a filibuster; Ryan disagrees with Trump on a lot of things; existing Federal laws are not that easy to repeal; and the courts. Trump will find most of his proposals, such as building the stupid wall, or reinstating torture as a policy, will end up in court if they get that far.

      • Torture was never abolished…still happening–the ‘media’ just chooses what to cover at the whim of their corporate controllers. Real information is out there, thanks for the internet as it is now.

  • I will try to restrain myself from saying “I told you so” come the next four years.

    In short, we shall see if the Trump Nation gets what it wants and likes it.

  • After reading this article i just want to say ‘SUCK IT HILARY LOVERS”!

  • Hillary took the two highest electoral states and still couldn’t pull a win off. Pretty pathetic. You can’t win with just a handful of states. Shit,even Georgia supported our new Prez. The people have made the correct choice. Clean house Donald. Get rid of our 5 forclosures I see a day posted in the Times Standard!!

    • yep, he will make it ten and happily buy up foreclosed homes, he and his rich predator investors..this you will see, and expect his apologists to try to convince you that you are better off for it.

    • The Dems talked about the suffering ‘middle class’ and neglected to say anything to the disenfranchised workers who are working for minimum wage (if that) after their jobs got shipped overseas.

      People wanted change, not more of the same neoliberal bullshit.

  • Here’s what will happen -it’s no secret .mitch already said no vote on term limits…

    http://www.npr.org/2016/11/09/501451368/here-is-what-donald-trump-wants-to-do-in-his-first-100-days

    * FIRST, propose a Constitutional Amendment to impose term limits on all members of Congress;

    * SECOND, a hiring freeze on all federal employees to reduce federal workforce through attrition (exempting military, public safety, and public health);

    * THIRD, a requirement that for every new federal regulation, two existing regulations must be eliminated;

    * FOURTH, a 5 year-ban on White House and Congressional officials becoming lobbyists after they leave government service;

    * FIFTH, a lifetime ban on White House officials lobbying on behalf of a foreign government;

    * SIXTH, a complete ban on foreign lobbyists raising money for American elections.

    On the same day, I will begin taking the following 7 actions to protect American workers:

    * FIRST, I will announce my intention to renegotiate NAFTA or withdraw from the deal under Article 2205

    * SECOND, I will announce our withdrawal from the Trans-Pacific Partnership

    * THIRD, I will direct my Secretary of the Treasury to label China a currency manipulator

    * FOURTH, I will direct the Secretary of Commerce and U.S. Trade Representative to identify all foreign trading abuses that unfairly impact American workers and direct them to use every tool under American and international law to end those abuses immediately

    WATCH: President Obama On Trump Win, Clinton Loss
    POLITICS
    WATCH: President Obama On Trump Win, Clinton Loss
    * FIFTH, I will lift the restrictions on the production of $50 trillion dollars’ worth of job-producing American energy reserves, including shale, oil, natural gas and clean coal.

    * SIXTH, lift the Obama-Clinton roadblocks and allow vital energy infrastructure projects, like the Keystone Pipeline, to move forward

    * SEVENTH, cancel billions in payments to U.N. climate change programs and use the money to fix America’s water and environmental infrastructure

    Additionally, on the first day, I will take the following five actions to restore security and the constitutional rule of law:

    * FIRST, cancel every unconstitutional executive action, memorandum and order issued by President Obama

    * SECOND, begin the process of selecting a replacement for Justice Scalia from one of the 20 judges on my list, who will uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States

    * THIRD, cancel all federal funding to Sanctuary Cities

    * FOURTH, begin removing the more than 2 million criminal illegal immigrants from the country and cancel visas to foreign countries that won’t take them back

    * FIFTH, suspend immigration from terror-prone regions where vetting cannot safely occur. All vetting of people coming into our country will be considered extreme vetting.

    Next, I will work with Congress to introduce the following broader legislative measures and fight for their passage within the first 100 days of my Administration:

    Middle Class Tax Relief And Simplification Act. An economic plan designed to grow the economy 4% per year and create at least 25 million new jobs through massive tax reduction and simplification, in combination with trade reform, regulatory relief, and lifting the restrictions on American energy. The largest tax reductions are for the middle class. A middle-class family with 2 children will get a 35% tax cut. The current number of brackets will be reduced from 7 to 3, and tax forms will likewise be greatly simplified. The business rate will be lowered from 35 to 15 percent, and the trillions of dollars of American corporate money overseas can now be brought back at a 10 percent rate.
    End The Offshoring Act. Establishes tariffs to discourage companies from laying off their workers in order to relocate in other countries and ship their products back to the U.S. tax-free.
    American Energy & Infrastructure Act. Leverages public-private partnerships, and private investments through tax incentives, to spur $1 trillion in infrastructure investment over 10 years. It is revenue neutral.
    School Choice And Education Opportunity Act. Redirects education dollars to give parents the right to send their kid to the public, private, charter, magnet, religious or home school of their choice. Ends common core, brings education supervision to local communities. It expands vocational and technical education, and make 2 and 4-year college more affordable.
    Repeal and Replace Obamacare Act. Fully repeals Obamacare and replaces it with Health Savings Accounts, the ability to purchase health insurance across state lines, and lets states manage Medicaid funds. Reforms will also include cutting the red tape at the FDA: there are over 4,000 drugs awaiting approval, and we especially want to speed the approval of life-saving medications.
    Affordable Childcare and Eldercare Act. Allows Americans to deduct childcare and elder care from their taxes, incentivizes employers to provide on-side childcare services, and creates tax-free Dependent Care Savings Accounts for both young and elderly dependents, with matching contributions for low-income families.
    End Illegal Immigration Act Fully-funds the construction of a wall on our southern border with the full understanding that the country Mexico will be reimbursing the United States for the full cost of such wall; establishes a 2-year mandatory minimum federal prison sentence for illegally re-entering the U.S. after a previous deportation, and a 5-year mandatory minimum for illegally re-entering for those with felony convictions, multiple misdemeanor convictions or two or more prior deportations; also reforms visa rules to enhance penalties for overstaying and to ensure open jobs are offered to American workers first.
    Restoring Community Safety Act. Reduces surging crime, drugs and violence by creating a Task Force On Violent Crime and increasing funding for programs that train and assist local police; increases resources for federal law enforcement agencies and federal prosecutors to dismantle criminal gangs and put violent offenders behind bars.
    Restoring National Security Act. Rebuilds our military by eliminating the defense sequester and expanding military investment; provides Veterans with the ability to receive public VA treatment or attend the private doctor of their choice; protects our vital infrastructure from cyber-attack; establishes new screening procedures for immigration to ensure those who are admitted to our country support our people and our values
    Clean up Corruption in Washington Act. Enacts new ethics reforms to Drain the Swamp and reduce the corrupting influence of special interests on our politics.
    On November 8th, Americans will be voting for this 100-day plan to restore prosperity to our economy, security to our communities, and honesty to our government.

    This is my pledge to you.

    And if we follow these steps, we will once more have a government of, by and for the people.

  • That’s why he won a clear easy to read plan.and populism.populism..

    At its root, populism is a belief in the power of regular people, and in their right to have control over their government rather than a small group of political insiders or a wealthy elite. The word populism comes from the Latin word for “people,” populus. Definitions of populism.

  • This is who is our president is.its time we all try to make this world a better place.theirs always a winner or loser in a race.the folks who are rioting in the streets seem like a bunch of sore losers!!it won’t change the out come.just sore losers.i voted for the person I thought would help us the most.and I don’t like being lied to

  • The lack of empathy from the folks saying “suck it up, losers” is astounding. This isn’t a lost game of Monopoly. People are afraid and they’re hurt. It’s bigger than “politics.” As one example, he made, as part of his campaign, agreements to enact legislation to make it legal to discriminate against LGBT people. Within that law, a person could be fired, regardless of their job performance, and it would be completely legal. That’s terrifying. And the lack of empathy and understanding and the complete dismissal of those fears as people being “sore losers” is another reason why it’s so horrifying. We absolutely should work together and compromise and that starts with listening to people and not shutting down their very valid fears because it doesn’t affect you and you’ve “won.”

  • Trump better stay alive for the next 4 years, or we’ll be dealing with President Pence – and take a google at THIS piece of work! Brain dead and loving it cause it makes him fit for heaven. af

  • Thank Buddha That billionaires bought Bernie.

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