Coming Out Courageous: A Crime Victim Speaks

Welcome to our letters to the editor/opinion section. To submit yours for consideration, please send to Please consider including an image to be used–either your photograph or something applicable to the letter. However, an image is not necessary for publication.

A crime victim (who prefers to remain anonymous but whose identify is confirmed) wrote the following about the experience of dealing with the crime, law enforcement, the courts and the emotional aftermath:

crime gun robberyOne of the problems of getting a story from a victim is this, they are already a victim. Telling their story can feel like they are being re-victimized again.

Having said that, here is my story.

I have spent my life trying to be a good person; helping others, loving animals, loving nature, being peaceful. I don’t like guns, I don’t own a gun. My world had no room to think about violence.

One night all that was shattered. In two minutes or less my home was broken into, my person was assaulted, my life was changed.

I now think of my life as before and after the incident.

In addition to the violent acts that occurred that night, I felt as though the victimization continued.

I felt re-victimized by the police. They questioned me in a manner that would indicate I had done something to bring this horrible act on myself. They disregarded my efforts to tell them otherwise.

Later, I felt re-victimized by the booking process. One party responsible for the violent act was nearly released because someone had not done their paperwork. It took many phone calls and climbing the chain of command to have the paperwork delivered only twenty minutes before the jail would have had to let that person go free.

And again, I felt re-victimized by the court system. I have had to endure endless delays and continued court dates. Each time I am required to attend to ensure my rights as a victim are being looked after.

I have been repeatedly subpoenaed to appear in court, only to have the proceeding delayed again. Each time needing to arrange my life and state of mind in a manner to accommodate the criminal and the court system.

Behind the scenes, I am left to cope with these continued re-victimizations. Dealing with changes in my character. I am left feeling isolated, feeling threatened, feeling vulnerable, feeling the loss of control over my life.

I now attend regular counseling visits, trying to sort through the trauma. Trying to regain my Self.

All of this because someone decided to invade my home, my world, my life. They did this with malicious intent. Their intent was for their personal gain at any cost.

Through it all, I feel I am coming out courageous. I fought back at my home, I fought back with the police, I fought back with the booking process, I fought back with the court system. I fought back with my personal self.

I don’t like to ever consider myself a victim. I have had cancer twice and never considered myself a victim then, I will not consider myself a victim now.

I am not a victim, I am a defeater. I defeated cancer. I will defeat the people responsible for trying to make me a victim.

Image: “Crime” by Abu badali, based on public domain Aiga’s icons. – Self made, based on Aiga’s icons.This vector image was created with Inkscape.. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.5 via Wikimedia Commons –




    It’s a raw deal and the system isn’t your friend when you seek justice.

    Let’s say someone steals from you and gets caught a few days later. The courts will jail them, make them perform slave labor, pay fines TO THE COURT-

    all while you get nothing or have to sue in civil court a person that owns nothing and lives nowhere.

    The system is simply there to profit from crime and shuns the victim while not caring about their property loss. The higher the crime rate, the more money the courts make.

    They have a vested interest in keeping low level crime soaring.

    Maybe SB 792 will correct this problem?

  • I feel your frustration! I too have survived a similar but different experience. My story has to do with domestic violence. It also was dragged out…. for nearly two years. Delayed by the perpetrator asking for continuances during the court hearings. He went through 7 different attorneys continuously delaying the process. I was subpoenaed multiple times requesting I attend court having to clear my schedule, not allowing me to have any sort of closure. I also agree that being called a victim does not help with the healing process. I am liking your title a defeater! Great choice of words! You are a Strong person and I commend you for standing firm! Good on you! You will Heal over time, it’s a process not an event! Blessings upon you!

    • So sorry it has all played out that way for you both. I had a violent attack with a firearm happen when I was 19. The police were pretty useless, it was in LA & they rarely help violent crime victims unless you’re rich, famous, or sometimes if you know the perp. I did not know mine, & I stuffed the experience down and didnt talj about it for 15 years. Writing it out is healing and I commend you!
      Ladies please utilize the Emma center, and a therapist told me there is a fund within the police dept that will help pay for counseling provided you ask for it within a year of the crime.They dont usually tell people that but it could be worth checking into.

  • thanks for this Kym, an excellent contribution to facilitate such discussion.

    And to the writer, I appreciate you’re sharing this experience, we all know this helps others with a similar history, all the best to you.

  • I’m sorry to hear you were assaulted , are you willing to defend your self now ?or are you still the willing victim ?Its not the polices job to defend you , thay do not carry a firearm to protect you . Pleas learn to Defend your self by any means necessary!

  • amimissingsomething

    Good Story Kim….also sad

  • Unfortunately it’s it the policemans job to enforce the laws not to protect anyone but themselves

  • Buy a gun! Defend your life, your family and your property!
    The founding fathers knew what they were doing, and knew someone will try to take your life, they had crazies back then as well that were trying to come up in life this way!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *