You Know You're in Humboldt If–The Flip Side

The Rosy Side of Life

Even when you love someone, disagreements happen.  Sadly such is the case now between one of my favorite blogs, Humboldt County News, and myself.  Yesterday, they published a less than positive perspective on Humboldt County entitled “You Know You’re in Humboldt County …” which, while accurate in some respects, made me wonder if we lived in the same area.

Here is my take on YOU KNOW YOU”RE IN HUMBOLDT IF….:

1. You can tell whether a car in the parking lot at the mall is from the rural areas of Humboldt but you can’t tell whether its driver is a redneck or a hippie because of the dust plastered over its windows.

2. Internet and cell phone service are terrible but neighbors will come over in the middle of the night to jumpstart your car.

3. Almost no one you know has been robbed and no one you know has been robbed in over 5 years. Heck,  you never lock your doors when you leave home.  In fact, you don’t even know where the key is and what if one of your neighbors needed to use the phone or something? Nah, no need for locks. Coffee pot’s in the cupboard and my money’s in the bank.

4. You don’t have a place for your car keys to hang in the house because you leave them in the car on the seat next to your wallet.

5. When people drive across country to stare at scenery that you see out of your window every morning.

6. The pungent smell of fresh marijuana wafts through your neighborhood on a regular basis.  Wow, someday your grandkids are going to want to hear cool tales about your home in the outlaw hills of Humboldt.  You’re way on track to be a cool Grandparent!

7.You don’t bother calling the cops, ever, because you know they won’t show up for at least two hours. But, your neighbors appreciate this (see 6 above.)

8. There’s a new addition to a business or a healthier non-profit every month thanks to the income generated nd generously distributed by marijuana growers.

9. Painful high heels and tight skirts are never required!!!  Comfort is a fashion statement.

Here I have to deviate from responding to the original list and create my own.

10. Organic and local food is available everywhere.  When a tomato tastes like wet cardboard, it’s cause for comment.  Mostly even store tomatoes here have enough flavor that mmmmmmmm is the only comment necessary. (Have you ever been to a grocery store on the east coast–a couple heads of wilty iceberg lettuce, eldery carrots and greenish tomatoes make up the majority of their produce sections!)

11. The youngest tree on your land is 500 years old (so I exaggerate…I’m from Humboldt where tall tales are part of the fabric of conversation.)

12. Diversity comes not from the color of your neighbor’s skin but from the breadth of their human experience and range of their ideas.  Sometimes you can tell this from the way they dress or their uniquely beautiful hairstyles (like dreads–two of the most beautiful women I know have dreads) but mostly conversation here, where a broad range of thinking can be experienced, is the delightful way to broaden your own mind.

13. “High” culture (like Shakespeare and Beethoven) is sadly in short supply.  However, due perhaps in part, to another kind of “high” culture, creative juices flow and new art, music, and writing abound (Hooray for the huge Humboldt blogosphere).

Thanks to Ecovox for starting the original blogersation.



  • Thanks for sticking up for us! I was shocked by the list… what a sad way to see life here.

  • You know you’ve arrived in Humbloldt Co when you want to read some local news so you go into a store asking where you might find some papers and they point at the Clubs and Zigzags.

  • I agree with your list, have yet to read the other. Probably won’t!

  • LOL Headwrapper!!!!

    And what a sweet froggy. I love it.

  • love the list! and I love the frog!

  • Ok, maybe this list is a little boring. It would make a nice recruitment ad though. Sorry. This is definatly a rural list. If you count burglary, I don’t know if I have ever qualified for number 3. And heels may not be required but I wear them well.

    Ok, maybe my humor isn’t quite there either.

  • Thanks for reminding me where I left my wallet again…..

  • McKinleyville Kris

    You absolutely rock, Kym!!

    But I always thought that the “local papers” spoken about above were called “funny papers”, like the kind you use with “wacky tebakky.”

  • Guerrilla in the Midst

    Don’t mind HCN. The comment about locking the car while going to the gas station to get cancer sticks speaks volumes. The author probably doesn’t get out much. Why does the author expect people to say hello? Try saying hello to them first!

    In contrast, I love your list. Only exception is #12 which I disagree with. The “diversity” in Humboldt is not so extensive even by your measures and there are many who are afraid of non-whites while pretending to be open-minded.

  • I have to agree about there not being enough racial diversity here. I remember when I was 5 years old seeing my first black person in the flesh. I couldn’t stop staring. I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t help it. My two older boys spent their preschool years in Berkeley and never think about the color of someone’s skin but my youngest has never lived out of the county and has some of the same holes in his understanding as I did.

  • You know you are from Humboldt County when you go to the grocery store and buy mass supplies of Reynolds Turkey sized bags, rubbing alcohol and scissors!

  • You know you are from Humboldt when olive oil is bought not for cooking but for cleaning;>

  • Pingback: Frog:Some Bathroom Humor « REDHEADED BLACKBELT

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