Life in a Small Town

SMALL TOWNS

Those who grew up in small towns will laugh when they read this.

Those who didn’t will be in disbelief and won’t understand how true it is.

1) You can name everyone you graduated with. (Also 3 classes ahead of, and
behind yours)

2) You know what 4-H means. (And FFA and Grange)

3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, (forest, river bar)
or in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was at
the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the
woods when the party was busted. See #6.

4) You used to”drag”Main. (In the next big-enough town an hour away)

5) You whispered the ‘F’ word and your parents knew within the hour.

6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers,
because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn’t.

7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old
you were -and if you were old enough, they’d tell your parents anyhow.
Besides, where would you get the money?

8) When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes
(or whatever), you still had to go out into the country and drive on back
roads to smoke them.

9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer
dropped off. (And which section of the ditch you would find your buyer
after he dropped off)

10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town. (Unless it was
a girl -and then she was slutty)

11) The whole school went to the same party after graduation. (At the same spot in the woods.)

12) You didn’t give directions by street names but rather by references.
Take the 2nd fork to the left, go about 5 miles past the Kemps, and it’s the 5th
gravel road to the right after the broken gate – but not the dirt road.

13) The golf course had only 9 holes. (And darn lucky we had it too.)

14) You couldn’t help but date a friend’s ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. (or
possibly your 2nd cousin)

15) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never
own a dark vehicle for this reason. (“Wash me” and other less savory words written on the back window provide a clear space to aid in backingup.)

16) The town next to yours was considered ‘trashy’ or ‘snooty,'(And the
girls from there were slutty) but it was actually just like your town.

17) You referred to anyone with a house newer than 1960 as the ‘rich’
people.

18) The people in the ‘big city’ dressed funny, and then you picked up the
trend 2 years later. (10 years later around here)

19) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or the
dairybar. (or just ‘bar’ )

20) Directions were given using THE stop sign as a reference.

21) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.

22) Your teachers called you by your older siblings’
names.

23) Your teachers remembered when they taught your
parents.

24) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID. (or even a real check – you could write it on a
deposit slip)

25) There was no McDonalds.

26) You dial a wrong number and talk for 15 minutes anyway.

27) You don’t use your turn signal because everyone knows where you’re going.

28) The closest mall was over an hour away. (And it wouldn’t have counted as a mall in any place but a small town.)

29) It was normal to see an old man riding through
town on a riding lawn mower. (horse or motorcycle)

30) Most people went by a nickname. (This one didn’t even strike me as
funny until I realized that most people would think it was
weird….) Or were known as part of a couple such as Kym of Kym and Kevin.

31) You’ve pee’d in a cornfield. (and forest, roadside, riverbank,
and behind your house when you forgot your key)

32) You drive into the ditch five miles out of town and the word gets back into town before you do.

33) You move in and you are no longer a stranger after ten minutes, but you’re still a newcomer after twenty years

34) You laughed your butt off reading this because
you know it is true.

I would not have wanted to have been raised any
other way!!!!

_________________________________

My best friend, Debbie Green, forwarded this to me with a few comments of her own.

I added a few, some of which I got from this town webpage.

Photo from a great site that has wonderful pictures of the Redwood Highway. Really worth a visit.

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

25 comments

  • Although I didn’t grow up in “a small town”, I have no problem believing each one of those.

    Maybe it’s because my neighborhood was a bit isolated (by city standards, anyway)…surrounded by water on three sides with only one way in or out.

  • …The worst kids in town were the preachers and the deputies kids…
    …If you were acting up, any parent had permission to punish you and you’d get it again, when you got home.

    …you were refered to as your parent’s kid….ie….Max’s kid…

    The next town over….was 12 miles away. The closest big town was 50 miles away.

    The new pizza parlor was a huge hit.

    Everybody went to the home games….no matter if you had a kid playing or not.

    Everyone attended the dances at the VFW Hall…no matter what age.

    Good girls became pregnant more than bad girls.
    Good boys married their baby’s mommy in their senior year of high school, got a job and stayed together until death did them part.

    The highway patrol would pull you over to find out how your folks were doing. End up talking about fishing and sports and never once mention the fixit ticket he forgot to write.

    Gay couples were referred to as “The Bachelors”

    Dynamiting the river to land fish happened at least once a year.

    There was always a rich hermit who kept to himself and made his money off of the aeronautics industry or railroad industry.

    The cops would give you a ride home from the bar.

    The town parade lasted two blocks long.

    The American Red Cross swimming instructors convinced the contractor with the front end loader to build a community pool at the mouth of the creek. All the kids knew how to swim.

  • …The worst kids in town were the preachers and the deputies kids…
    …If you were acting up, any parent had permission to punish you and you’d get it again, when you got home.

    …you were refered to as your parent’s kid….ie….Max’s kid…

    The next town over….was 12 miles away. The closest big town was 50 miles away.

    The new pizza parlor was a huge hit.

    Everybody went to the home games….no matter if you had a kid playing or not.

    Everyone attended the dances at the VFW Hall…no matter what age.

    Good girls became pregnant more than bad girls.
    Good boys married their baby’s mommy in their senior year of high school, got a job and stayed together until death did them part.

    The highway patrol would pull you over to find out how your folks were doing. End up talking about fishing and sports and never once mention the fixit ticket he forgot to write.

    Gay couples were referred to as “The Bachelors”

    Dynamiting the river to land fish happened at least once a year.

    There was always a rich hermit who kept to himself and made his money off of the aeronautics industry or railroad industry.

    The cops would give you a ride home from the bar.

    The town parade lasted two blocks long.

    The American Red Cross swimming instructors convinced the contractor with the front end loader to build a community pool at the mouth of the creek. All the kids knew how to swim.

  • When you walk though town, you wave and smile at everyone ’cause, if you can’t remember their name, they can remember yours or, more importantly, your mother’s.

    The Shriners are the best part of the town parade.

    The cops don’t bother to write you a ticket, they just threaten to tell your parents when they see them in church tomorrow.

  • When you walk though town, you wave and smile at everyone ’cause, if you can’t remember their name, they can remember yours or, more importantly, your mother’s.

    The Shriners are the best part of the town parade.

    The cops don’t bother to write you a ticket, they just threaten to tell your parents when they see them in church tomorrow.

  • Keep going. It’s beganing to sound like “home”.

  • Keep going. It’s beganing to sound like “home”.

  • .. and when you ask for directions in a small town, you get directions like “down the road a piece…down there where the mill usta be” or “down where the barn was that the Miller boy burned down in `52”.

    Also, party lines. We shared a phone line with the neighbor across the street. I still remember her coming over pissed because my sister had been on the phone and she needed to make a call. Bad enough when you only have to deal with your own family….

  • .. and when you ask for directions in a small town, you get directions like “down the road a piece…down there where the mill usta be” or “down where the barn was that the Miller boy burned down in `52”.

    Also, party lines. We shared a phone line with the neighbor across the street. I still remember her coming over pissed because my sister had been on the phone and she needed to make a call. Bad enough when you only have to deal with your own family….

  • ….And you can own a ranch for forty years, and it will still be known by the name of the person that owned it before you.

  • ….And you can own a ranch for forty years, and it will still be known by the name of the person that owned it before you.

  • LOL!!!
    You buy a house and instead of telling them “It’s a block down this street” you say “It’s the old Shaeger house”.

    And OLD landmarks will be used for reference. “It’s where the old Payless Drugstore used to be.” or “Head out of town passed where Wards used to be”.

  • LOL!!!
    You buy a house and instead of telling them “It’s a block down this street” you say “It’s the old Shaeger house”.

    And OLD landmarks will be used for reference. “It’s where the old Payless Drugstore used to be.” or “Head out of town passed where Wards used to be”.

  • Most weddings are complicated by trying to make sure bridesmaids don’t walk down the aisle with their ex boyfriends who are groomsmen.

    No one keeps track of who is sitting on the bride or groom side because most guests are related to both.

  • Most weddings are complicated by trying to make sure bridesmaids don’t walk down the aisle with their ex boyfriends who are groomsmen.

    No one keeps track of who is sitting on the bride or groom side because most guests are related to both.

  • …You call information, and the operator says “I know that number, because it’s mine!” Remember when that happened to us, Kym? 😀

  • …You call information, and the operator says “I know that number, because it’s mine!” Remember when that happened to us, Kym? 😀

  • Being a small town operator was fun. I got a kick out of city people calling information and getting way more help than they were used to;>

  • Being a small town operator was fun. I got a kick out of city people calling information and getting way more help than they were used to;>

  • I knew a guy who was called “Ditch Don” ’cause he wound up in so many ditches in his drinking days. Now he’s sober (I hope) and works for the Dali Lama. Only in Southern Humboldt.

  • I knew a guy who was called “Ditch Don” ’cause he wound up in so many ditches in his drinking days. Now he’s sober (I hope) and works for the Dali Lama. Only in Southern Humboldt.

  • I wonder if he told the Dali Lama his nickname;>

  • I wonder if he told the Dali Lama his nickname;>

  • A nervous bride for your eyes… a fractured smile that soon dies

  • A nervous bride for your eyes… a fractured smile that soon dies

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *