A Masculine View
Rumplestiltskin age 2
As a mother of 3 boys, I have come to realize that males are born thinking very differently from females. There are things little boys do that you can NEVER imagine a little girl doing.
One night, not too long ago, my kindergartener was squatting naked on the bathroom counter examining himself with a pleased expression in the mirror.
“Mom! Mom!”
Realizing by the sound of his voice that this was a full attention moment, I put down the toothbrush.
“Mom,” he declared proudly with an expression I had seen on other males when groping their own favorite piece of anatomy, “I can hold my pecker between my knees!”
Pause. Deep breath. Think about that. Knees!!!! Already we have serious exaggeration problems. To the male species, size is important even when they are only 5. Imagine the importance when they are full grown. Imagine the embellishment then!
There are moments when I long to exchange just one of my sons for a little girl. It would be nice not to feel like an alien in my own family.
(Yes, this really happened. And, no, the piece of anatomy in question didn’t quite reach that far.)
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by the time he is a teenager, he will be holding it between his toes.
By the time he is a teenager, I’m going to have joined a nunnery–ahh, a completely feminine home–true heaven!
By the time he is a teenager, I’m going to have joined a nunnery–ahh, a completely feminine home–true heaven!
To recall an old joke:
Do you know why most women are so poor at math?
Because all their lives they have been told that this (picture two pointer fingers about two inches apart) is eight inches.
I guess Malachi is planning to be a math teacher.
To recall an old joke:
Do you know why most women are so poor at math?
Because all their lives they have been told that this (picture two pointer fingers about two inches apart) is eight inches.
I guess Malachi is planning to be a math teacher.
Or, with that imagination, a writer like the rest of our family.
Or, with that imagination, a writer like the rest of our family.
I love the photo Kym. Just wait until he reads this as a teenager!
I love the photo Kym. Just wait until he reads this as a teenager!
You have brought another true man into the world. This so cracks me up.
You have brought another true man into the world. This so cracks me up.
long live rumplestiltskin, may your anatomy become as large as your imagination requires….
long live rumplestiltskin, may your anatomy become as large as your imagination requires….
I don’t think they have cod pieces as big as his imagination…..
I don’t think they have cod pieces as big as his imagination…..
lol, by the time he’s 12 he’ll be holding it between his toes
lol, by the time he’s 12 he’ll be holding it between his toes