A Masculine View

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Rumplestiltskin age 2

As a mother of 3 boys, I have come to realize that males are born thinking very differently from females. There are things little boys do that you can NEVER imagine a little girl doing.

One night, not too long ago, my kindergartener was squatting naked on the bathroom counter examining himself with a pleased expression in the mirror.

“Mom! Mom!”

Realizing by the sound of his voice that this was a full attention moment, I put down the toothbrush.

“Mom,” he declared proudly with an expression I had seen on other males when groping their own favorite piece of anatomy, “I can hold my pecker between my knees!”

Pause. Deep breath. Think about that. Knees!!!! Already we have serious exaggeration problems. To the male species, size is important even when they are only 5. Imagine the importance when they are full grown. Imagine the embellishment then!

There are moments when I long to exchange just one of my sons for a little girl. It would be nice not to feel like an alien in my own family.

(Yes, this really happened. And, no, the piece of anatomy in question didn’t quite reach that far.)

 

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17 Comments
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DJ
Guest
DJ
16 years ago

by the time he is a teenager, he will be holding it between his toes.

Staff
Member
16 years ago

By the time he is a teenager, I’m going to have joined a nunnery–ahh, a completely feminine home–true heaven!

Aunt Jackie
Guest
Aunt Jackie
16 years ago

To recall an old joke:

Do you know why most women are so poor at math?

Because all their lives they have been told that this (picture two pointer fingers about two inches apart) is eight inches.

I guess Malachi is planning to be a math teacher.

Aunt Jackie
Guest
Aunt Jackie
16 years ago

To recall an old joke:

Do you know why most women are so poor at math?

Because all their lives they have been told that this (picture two pointer fingers about two inches apart) is eight inches.

I guess Malachi is planning to be a math teacher.

Staff
Member
16 years ago

Or, with that imagination, a writer like the rest of our family.

Elly
Guest
Elly
16 years ago

I love the photo Kym. Just wait until he reads this as a teenager!

Elly
Guest
Elly
16 years ago

I love the photo Kym. Just wait until he reads this as a teenager!

max
Guest
max
16 years ago

You have brought another true man into the world. This so cracks me up.

max
Guest
max
16 years ago

You have brought another true man into the world. This so cracks me up.

uncle hale
Guest
uncle hale
16 years ago

long live rumplestiltskin, may your anatomy become as large as your imagination requires….

uncle hale
Guest
uncle hale
16 years ago

long live rumplestiltskin, may your anatomy become as large as your imagination requires….

Staff
Member
16 years ago

I don’t think they have cod pieces as big as his imagination…..

lq
Guest
lq
14 years ago

lol, by the time he’s 12 he’ll be holding it between his toes

lq
Guest
lq
14 years ago

lol, by the time he’s 12 he’ll be holding it between his toes