A Bare Story

Malachi always takes a bath in the evening. A year ago November, he was tired of playing before I came to get him and he slipped back into the house. I quickly popped him in his pj’s and went out to turn off both the bathroom light and the noisy generator. I opened the garage door–then slammed it quickly! A large dark creature rushed out the other entrance.

“Kevin, a bear,” I hollered and ran back to the house. Already in bed, Kevin jumped out stark naked and grabbed a shotgun. (Yes, a lot of our stories involve a nude Kevin hunting creatures in the dark. Super Villains tend to hang around laughing evilly but marauding critters move faster than a speeding bullet—literally—so Superman has the luxury of changing clothes but Kevin comes as he is.)

By the time Kevin grabbed the gun, the bear was gone. Shaking our heads we stood there amazed. We couldn’t believe that it came into the downstairs while the loud generator was blasting, the lights were going, and Clay was upstairs watching a movie.

We don’t know but, after he came out of the bathroom, Malachi might have even been in the same room with the bear.

Undaunted by nearly becoming a rug, a few nights later, the bear came back, entered the garage again, boldly opened the second refrigerator, and ate $100 worth of organic milk, butter, and vegetables! Kevin chased it once more (yes, naked again) but never found it.

For awhile we were afraid to go out after dark but it hasn’t been back and everyone but Malachi had calmed down in a month or so. But, at night, the poor little guy still worries about going outside (the preferred place to release bladder contents among the male members of the family), I’m worried enough that I keep an ear out for the sound of him being dragged off….

But as Malachi is half naked when he pees, I hope the bear will see bare cub and Malachi will be safe.